Friendship found, friendship lost...But how would you Know?

Have you ever had a friendship where it seems like there is more effort from one person to keep the friendship up?  I'm sure you have. We all have.  In general, I enjoy the company of most women I meet and can always find something to chat about.  I always try to find something good in everyone.   But the deeper friendship...there aren't too many people in the world that I have been friends with whom I have felt a really deep connection.  One that you can't really put into words.  All it really takes is one or two really good friends.

There is one person that I have known for close to twenty years, but I guess it had to take me to my 40th birthday to really let it sink in that we're not BFFs, to borrow a teeny bopper term.  Naturally, since we haven't lived in the same town for a while, I knew that we weren't best of friends.  Yet I am the person who always went to seek her out, visited her at her place, made the effort to make plans.  Maybe that's a sign of maturing, getting older, that I am trying to deal with this.  The whole Facebook thing doesn't really help.  We see each other every once in a while, maybe once a year, at events of mutual interest.  Usually we just bump into each other.

It's not fun and it's not easy.  I would rather we be closer friends.  I'd rather her visit or call.  I guess that's just not in the cards.  40 is good like that:  my life is otherwise full and vibrant.  Who needs the sadness of a friendship that was never really what I thought it could be?

And yet, after all these years I continue to think about it.

The 1st verse from Dylan's "He Was a Friend of Mine" makes me think of her.  She is alive and well, so the rest doesn't really apply.  But the 1st verse does.

(s)he was a friend of mine
(s)he was a friend of mine
Every time I think about (her) now
Lord I just can't keep from cryin'
'Cause (s) was a friend of mine



"Light," by Phish, a favorite tune of mine especially performed live, also reminds me of this friend.  Especially the less-often heard verse

Obstacles are stepping stones
That guide us to our goals
Fences are filters
That purify our souls

The song has great hope.  It makes me feel like whatever happens in life, this friend and I continue to be connected.  The obstacles that exist in the friendship are there for a reason and perhaps the reason why our friendship hasn't been more than I'd hoped is purposeful and the right thing for me.  Who knows, one day we may cross paths in a meaningful, lasting way.  Doesn't everything happen for a reason?

Blues For Challah Setlist Recap

We're nearly done unpacking from Blues For Challah:  The Second Set, and what a weekend it was.  The Whole Phamily was so grateful to have the opportunity to provide social media services and onsite kids' programming to this weekend.  I hope that these efforts were successful.  Here are some highlights:

 Seth Rogovoy's presentation on Bob Dylan's link to Judaism was polished, well-delivered, and entertaining in its own right.  I wrote about Rogovoy's book earlier, but had no clue that his presentation would include live performance.  How happy was I when he confirmed my suspicions regarding the messianic theme of Quinn the Eskimo?!?   And even happier when I shared that Phish's rendition brings Quinn to a new level.





Meeting Michelle Esrick, the brainchild i.e. filmmaker behind the Wavy Gravy movie Saint Misbehavin', was a real treat.  We sat at the same table on Friday night and I was thrilled, since I am connected to challah baking, to be asked to explain the symbolism behind using two challot and salt at a shabbes table.  Her sister and I connected on mindfulness meditation.  I lamented I have yet to read Jon Kabet-Zinn's book on it that Stango gave to me already a few years ago.  Michelle's film was educational about Wavy Gravy's life and mission.  Because of the weekend's intimate setting, I couldn't have imagined a more perfect scene.  I loved that Concealed Light asked after the film's screening, "what's the big deal about Wavy Gravy?"  This film, therefore, opened the door for my 9 year old regarding the whys behind the 60s counterculture.  Sure, she knows we love Dylan and the Dead, and that we read plenty of books about MLK, Jr in February, but a two sentence explanation (end of Camelot, fight for Civil Rights, end of Baby Boom, the Beatles, Vietnam) was a good start.

Me and Michelle Esrick, producer/director of Saint Misbehavin'

Of course, I loved that Michelle expressed that her presence at this weekend was bashert and from Hashem (two terms she learned just this weekend).  Doesn't everything happen for a reason?  Hakol bashamayim hi.  (you can ask your rabbi what that one means).

Meeting Rabbi Moshe "Mickey" Shur finally was inspiring.  He grew up with Stango's close childhood friend's father.  We had long-heard of Berman's dad's hippy cum frum friend.  I was thrilled to see that, even though I didn't know him when he knew Wavy Gravy while living in San Francisco in the 60s, he maintained his open, loving, laid-back, funny, warm vibe that was clearly a product of those years.

Saturday night jam:  a bunch of participants brought out their guitars, drums and voices for a really fun homegrown Dead jam.  What an interesting mix of people.  The diversity of Jewish folks is captured in this brief video where we see Rabbi Moshe "Mickey" Shur's son on vocals (long payos dude).





Stango was most impressed by Arthur Kurtzweil's presentations on lyrics.  He was also the keynote speaker.  Stango liked that he got to the real truth on a high intellectual plane without fluff, pretense, or glamour.  That's my husband for ya.

I ran the kids groups for which I received positive feedback.  We made centerpiece tablescapes for the dining room tables with Duplos .  We acted out a play about the parsha with the parts of Yaakov, Eisav and Hashem.  We read the parsha story.  We visited the goats.  We ate fantastic snacks provided by Isabella Freedman.  We dressed up as turtles, pirates and creative play silk creatures.  We read books about being a young farmer.  We played Uno and Zingo.   We enjoyed Pez as a Shabbes treat which was cleared ahead of time with the program director (since I am sensitive to the healthy food vibe at Isabella Freedman; I am, after all, an advocate of drinking raw milk and eating fermented foods), though it wasn't for everyone.

photo from jkrglobal.com

Pez at a Dead show is just so much fun, so that was where I was going with that.  Or just a couple of Mike and Ike's.  But I don't know if the kids fully understood that this was very specific to being at a Dead show.  They likely just saw it as candy.

Here are some more photos and footage.

Stango and Concealed Light at Dead Jam

Stango and The Nunever.  Rodeo!  Note the lovely Gucci scarf.

these guys knew how to jam!  Another son of Rabbi Shur and Rabbi Jeff Hoffman

Concealed Light felt stifled that she couldn't read chords.  Clearly was too tired to improvise and jam, which I know she is capable of.

 And how is it that I always thought this was a Peter, Paul and Mary song?

 


What a success!  Hope to join again next year!

Rubin "Hurricane" Carter

An industrious Gen-Z-er is liveblogging the hurricane here, where I read a post that Dylan's tune Hurricane is the best hurricane song ever.  Except that it is a protest song, nothing to do with the weather.

Still, check it out. And remember how good we've got it when put in perspective.

Jonah Lehrer Resigns from New Yorker Magazine

We so much like Jonah Lehrer's writing in our house.  And now this.  Oy.

The story broke in Tablet Magazine just 10 minutes ago, and then was covered in the New York Times Media Decoder Blog.

Jonah Lehrer fabricated numerous quotations from Bob Dylan in his book "Imagine," which was published in March.  Flat out made them up.  Lied.  Panicked and just made stuff up.

from the New York Times, Nina Subin

And just minutes ago, David Remnick said in a statement:  "This is a terrifically sad situation, but, in the end, what is most important is the integrity of what we publish and what we stand for."

On these pages I doubt the quality of my own writing.  I know that at the current moment I couldn't write half a rat's tail that Jonah could offer up.  (Wait, does that expression even make any sense?).  I know a lot of folks don't even read what I have to write.   Yes, my writing is mediocre at best, and people don't even leave me comments.

I am more of an ideas and connectivity kind of a gal.

But I don't make stuff up here.

I feel sad for Mr. Lehrer.  I really do.

Talkin' Hava Negiliah Blues

Who hasn't done a hora to hava nagila at bar and bat mitzvahs in the United States?  It is an unavoidable Jewish American cliche.  Over the years, we have grown to prefer other, less-trite Jewish songs, but just when we thought it was out of our lives...

... wouldn't ya know, along has come a documentary on the song.




While they didn't say it by name, hava nagila is, essentially, based on a chassidic nigun, or wordless religous melody invoking prayer and spirituality.
Spare yourself the 9 minutes.  Despite the much-appreciated academic analysis of the song,

we'll stick with Bob Dylan's rendition.

Bob Dylan: Prophet, Mystic, Poet

There is a new book out about the former Robert Zimmerman regarding the Jewish influences on his music.  Seth Rogovoy's Bob Dylan:  Prophet, Mystic, Poet  was reviewed in this week's edition of the Jewish Week.  Dylan's influence over popular culture is immense.  Mosh-pitter, headbanger, and classical music fan alike can all hum a soulful "Blowin' in the Wind."  But there is no denying that Dylan is a part of the Whole Phamily and he has his Yiddishkeit to thank a bissel.  This book explores some previously unrevealed truths of the Jewish foundation of some of Dylan's songs.

Interestingly, Dylan put out an Xmas CD this holiday season.  Check out the Nation's blog for a discussion about it.  Or, more recently, Randy Lewis' coverage in the LA Times about Jews, including Neil Diamond, Barbara Streisand, Barry Manilow, producing Xmas albums.  The Whole Phamily think it's mighty fine that he's belting out these classics for the general American public to hear, especially since we now know that he remains a Yid through and through (no name change will will really change you).

What would Garrison Keillor have to say about all this?  There are elements of NPR that we enjoy (having been long-time fans of David Isay's various radio projects), but it's never been A Prairie Home Companion.  Despite that Dylan and Keillor share Minnesota as their home state, Keillor's angry, evil words in a recent issue of The Baltimore Sun sound downright antisemitic.

What's the deal with Dylan's name, anyway?  Zimmerman, his given name, translates as carpenter.  Somewhere back in the alter heim his family were wood-workers.  As we all know, Dylan took on the name of the poet Dylan Thomas.  Too bad his name wasn't Zingerman (which translates as a singer).  Then maybe he wouldn't have changed it, and surely he could've eventually had a nice deli sandwich (albeit treif) in Ann Arbor and reveled in shared family lineage.

Music has the power to move.  It touches one's inner depths.  It reminds us of happy times and sad.  It brings excitement to otherwise-mundane activities.  A good tune blaring out of the speakers of your best friends '63 Corvette brought you back to a time of freedom and youth.  We are glad to learn for certain that Bob Dylan, after 50 years, was indeed influenced by the biblical, Jewish prophet Isaiah in All Along the Watchtower .

And, we hope that his son-in-law, Peter Himmelman, talented musician in his own right, is kvelling.