Everything happens for a reason. A cultural commentary with a lotta rock-n-roll, semitism, and parenting. See our Etsy Shop! Buy HeadyBands, Hoodies and more at www.wholephamily.etsy.com
I like to think of myself as a loving mama. I love my children and I love so much of what they do. I respect their privacy but I am also so proud of some of their things. Naturally, in this day and age I want to share them on the holy grail of the Internet.
For example. After test-running the following image created by my beloved near-8 year old the Wolfman with our very special kin The Nunever, I made the executive decision to share on Facebook and Twitter. The Nunever said it must have been one of my proudest mothering moments. Indeed, I was kvelling. Did the Wolfman specifically say don't share it? No. But if I asked him would he be happy? Don't think so.
This is pretty darn good stuff for your typical Phish-loving mama. Just don't tell the Wolfman about this. And, if you do, tell him it's the least he can do for his mama who doesn't even celebrate the upcoming Hallmark holiday of Mother's Day.
We're nearly done unpacking from Blues For Challah: The Second Set, and what a weekend it was. The Whole Phamily was so grateful to have the opportunity to provide social media services and onsite kids' programming to this weekend. I hope that these efforts were successful. Here are some highlights:
Seth Rogovoy's presentation on Bob Dylan's link to Judaism was polished, well-delivered, and entertaining in its own right. I wrote about Rogovoy's book earlier, but had no clue that his presentation would include live performance. How happy was I when he confirmed my suspicions regarding the messianic theme of Quinn the Eskimo?!? And even happier when I shared that Phish's rendition brings Quinn to a new level.
Meeting Michelle Esrick, the brainchild i.e. filmmaker behind the Wavy Gravy movie Saint Misbehavin', was a real treat. We sat at the same table on Friday night and I was thrilled, since I am connected to challah baking, to be asked to explain the symbolism behind using two challot and salt at a shabbes table. Her sister and I connected on mindfulness meditation. I lamented I have yet to read Jon Kabet-Zinn's book on it that Stango gave to me already a few years ago. Michelle's film was educational about Wavy Gravy's life and mission. Because of the weekend's intimate setting, I couldn't have imagined a more perfect scene. I loved that Concealed Light asked after the film's screening, "what's the big deal about Wavy Gravy?" This film, therefore, opened the door for my 9 year old regarding the whys behind the 60s counterculture. Sure, she knows we love Dylan and the Dead, and that we read plenty of books about MLK, Jr in February, but a two sentence explanation (end of Camelot, fight for Civil Rights, end of Baby Boom, the Beatles, Vietnam) was a good start.
Me and Michelle Esrick, producer/director of Saint Misbehavin'
Of course, I loved that Michelle expressed that her presence at this weekend was bashert and from Hashem (two terms she learned just this weekend). Doesn't everything happen for a reason? Hakol bashamayim hi. (you can ask your rabbi what that one means).
Meeting Rabbi Moshe "Mickey" Shur finally was inspiring. He grew up with Stango's close childhood friend's father. We had long-heard of Berman's dad's hippy cum frum friend. I was thrilled to see that, even though I didn't know him when he knew Wavy Gravy while living in San Francisco in the 60s, he maintained his open, loving, laid-back, funny, warm vibe that was clearly a product of those years.
Saturday night jam: a bunch of participants brought out their guitars, drums and voices for a really fun homegrown Dead jam. What an interesting mix of people. The diversity of Jewish folks is captured in this brief video where we see Rabbi Moshe "Mickey" Shur's son on vocals (long payos dude).
Stango was most impressed by Arthur Kurtzweil's presentations on lyrics. He was also the keynote speaker. Stango liked that he got to the real truth on a high intellectual plane without fluff, pretense, or glamour. That's my husband for ya.
I ran the kids groups for which I received positive feedback. We made centerpiece tablescapes for the dining room tables with Duplos . We acted out a play about the parsha with the parts of Yaakov, Eisav and Hashem. We read the parsha story. We visited the goats. We ate fantastic snacks provided by Isabella Freedman. We dressed up as turtles, pirates and creative play silk creatures. We read books about being a young farmer. We played Uno and Zingo. We enjoyed Pez as a Shabbes treat which was cleared ahead of time with the program director (since I am sensitive to the healthy food vibe at Isabella Freedman; I am, after all, an advocate of drinking raw milk and eating fermented foods), though it wasn't for everyone.
Pez at a Dead show is just so much fun, so that was where I was going with that. Or just a couple of Mike and Ike's. But I don't know if the kids fully understood that this was very specific to being at a Dead show. They likely just saw it as candy.
Here are some more photos and footage.
Stango and Concealed Light at Dead Jam
Stango and The Nunever. Rodeo! Note the lovely Gucci scarf.
these guys knew how to jam! Another son of Rabbi Shur and Rabbi Jeff Hoffman
Concealed Light felt stifled that she couldn't read chords. Clearly was too tired to improvise and jam, which I know she is capable of.
And how is it that I always thought this was a Peter, Paul and Mary song?
In case you might have missed our most recent gig Camping with My Kids & a Whole Bunch of Jam Bands last June, you all have a second chance to join up with the Whole Phamily crew in just a few weeks!
We are so thrilled to be a part of Blues for Challah: The Second Set, a "weekend-long workshop exploring the spiritual and mystical aspects of the Grateful Dead and Bob Dylan," writes Seth Rogovoy on his Rogovoy Report. Whole Phamily is heading up the programs for children on Friday night and Shabbat morning.
In case you were wondering, my friendly friends, this is a pluralistic event, welcome folks of all persuasions (but a love of the Grateful Dead is sorta the point...). You don't have to be Jewish, but it don't hurt to be, neither.
And, in case you were wondering, myfrum friend or relative (yep, Heshy, I'm talkin' to you), this is, indeed a shabbaton. Just different than my 8th grade experience. I have desired to attend an event at Isabella Freedman and its affiliate Elat Chayyim since the mid '90s, living as a single working woman on Upper West Side. It is finally, baruch hashem, coming to fruition! And on the cusp of mine and Stango's 11th wedding anniversary and right after my birthday, no less. Someone is surely watching over us for the good.
C'mon Children! Shabbat Fun for Kids
Pipe cleaner creations and a fun food craft are among just the many exciting things we have planned for kids of all ages. Concealed Light, The Wolfman and the Wolfman's Brother will be there ready to have a whole lot of fun with all the kids. We'll sing classic tot-shabbat tunes, do puppet shows and read stories. We will talk about that week's torah portion, Vayishlach, in an interactive way and maybe even make up a skit about it! Who knows, maybe kids will even get to borrow their very own Pez dispensers as a shabbat treat on Friday night. Parents, just be chill with the food coloring, ok? It's 12 tiny pieces of candy! And if the goats are willing, maybe we'll take a walk over and say 'mehhhhh! So much more can and will happen. Anyone under the age of 21 who is shlepped along for this epic shabbaton is a lucky one and for sure should be grateful!
Stango will likely be found during those times in the shul, but off-the-record will be available for any brain-talk-walk therapy and of course discussion of chassidus and Jerry that folks might be interested in.
All-inclusive prices, which include farm-to-table food and wine and lodging, begin at $233 for the 2-night event. EARLY BIRD REGISTRATION DISCOUNT EXTENDED UNTIL TODAY NOVEMBER 9, 2012!
Tonight my glass slippers will be stowed away at home, as I do not attend live musical performances during the first Nine Days of Av, a historically sad time - - a mourning period - - for the Jewish people. But for those of you who do partake on this auspicious night of Rosh Chodesh Av, I can not suggest higher to attend the Royal Family Ball featuring Soulive and Lettuce at this year's Gathering of the Vibes festival in Bridgeport, Connecticut. Granted, this show is happening in just 1 hour or so, but if you are able to somehow get yourself there, you will receive the musical royal treatment from numerous prince charmings.
I recently had the distinct privilege of seeing Adam Smirnoff, "Shmeeans," of Lettuce perform at Mountain Jam, and what can I say other than he was super fantastic. And a nice guy, too. I would love to see Adam Deitch and Eric Krasno. They are also supposed to be great. Talk about funk! What a groove party they throw (see below for a look at their recent album, Fly, release party at the Brooklyn Bowl). At least there's always the Pandora channel. I say that because I don't think I have stated it here officially but I do not own an iPod nor do I have the time to maintain an iTunes account. I know that sounds pretty lame, but that is my reality. My car, where I would listen to much of my music, doesn't even have an MP3 player. I know, how crazy is that, I have an '07 Odyssey with no MP3 but Stango has an '05 car and it does have such a plug-in.
This crew puts out terrific music: would you think anything less of a bunch of Berklee College of Music graduates? They don't just know how to jam, they know how to rage. And I didn't just see them perform, I joined with friends who know him well. That made it all the more fun. I simply love to rage from backstage! Not sure if Mr. Nigel Hall is joining in with Soulive and/or Lettuce, but if so, the soul sounds that emit from his lips are sweet words that stick with you for a long time. Mr. Hall clearly, as my friend the Coach has suggested, is the best soul singer out there today. That's no joke. Perhaps I am just naive, just a mama, but I beg to differ. I know good stuff when I hear it.
There is the slightest chance I will make it up to GOTV this Sunday, but for work purposes only. I would love to further my very fun Facebook group "I Love Lot Shirts," and take a bunch more photos.
Here is one wook who definitely won't be up in Bridgeport this weekend but is my very own 7 year old Prince Charming, and his name is the Wolfman.
Gotta love the Star Wars shirt
"Mama, why are you so into clothes?" As if this good stuff could be found in a store!
Never a huge fan of chocolate cake, I bake the tastiest recipe for chocolate cake. I have made it for numerous potluck luches. It is a crowd pleaser. The recipe is from the back of the Hershey's can of cocoa, but I use Nestle's. It has a better flavor. I also keep it dairy-free, changing the cow's milk to either almond or coconut.
Rachel's Potluck Chocolate Cake
inspired by Hershey's Perfectly Chocolate Cake
2 Cups sugar
1 3/4 C flour
3/4 C cocoa (preferably Nestle's)
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1 1/2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
2 eggs
1 C almond or coconut milk
1 tsp salt
1/2 C canola oil
2 tsp vanilla
1 C boiling water
preheat oven 350
spray two 9-inch pans with canola cooking spray
place 1st 6 dry ingredients into a mixing bowl; mix
add eggs, milk, oil and vanilla.
mix at medium 2 minutes
gently stir in boiling water (batter will be thin...not to worry!)
pour into prepared pans
bake 30 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean
As mentioned, I use Nestle's. I have swallowed my pride despite that I have issues with that company since they are a huge lobby group for formula in Washington, and I am a breastfeeding supporter. Still, they are better tasting than Hershey's. For supermarket cocoa, that is. I guess Droste is available some places, and it has a good taste but it is simply too expensive for me. I always loved the Nestle's cocoa tin. It was shaped like a Toll House. Then they switched it to plastic, which I saved. And now they are getting rid of their traditional design and are using a more generic container.
Old Nestle's cocoa on the right, new container on left.
The Jewish New year of the trees, Tu B'Shvat, is coming up.
To be festive, we made a tree-shaped Chocolate cake.
Frosting recipe is from the side of the confectioner's sugar box.
I used coconut oil and non-hydrogenated Palm oil as the shortening.
Yes, those are mixed lettuce greens on the bottom.
This offered great comic relief this morning to the Wolfman and Concealed Light.
If only Uncle Moishy still sported those glasses which have now become hipster, he could pretty much fit in at a Williamsburg bar.
For the sake of the Jews out there who love his work, I actually contacted his management company, Suki and Ding, a few years ago to tell them it would be simply great if he had a YouTube channel. Think of all of those yeshiva kids in Brooklyn (i.e. my cousins) who are allowed to access certain things on the Internet but not others? Uncle Moishy is signed, sealed, delivered, and most of all approved, and it would be a boon to his fame and notoriety!
On our drive this weekend to visit my parents and to celebrate my sister's birthday, my children and I listened to the "Free to Be You and Me" soundtrack. The close-quarters of being in the minivan enabled me to ponder this song, and I started thinking about how it has poignantly come full-circle.
there is a YouTube video here, so if you get this in an email link you might need to click through to the wholephamily.com website itself to see this video link
Like so many children of my generation, I grew up listening to this record.
I picked it up again in college and then started thinking of its message that all people can be whomever they choose to be. I doubt my mom ever read Ms. Magazine cover-to-cover like I did in 2004 while nursing Conealed Light in New Haven (I have been told I need to clarify that Ms. is pronounced mizz, and it was part of the foundation that backed this record), but she knew the good stuff and Free To Be You and Me was it in the 70s.
When I was little, I was the girl listener, envisioning all of the mommies and daddies and all the things they can do. And now I am the mama. And while I haven't become a professional baker, doctor, or funny joke-teller, I have done a lot of things so far.
This song sends the message that parents can and should shoot for the moon. And that college isn't necessary to get there. I have told Stango that our children can become skilled tradespeople. He doesn't see it my way. Despite that I am the first woman in my immediate family to obtain a college degree, I wonder if it is necessary. Can't Concealed Light become a pastry chef if she so desires? Can't The Wolfman apprentice as an electrician? Better yet, he can become the pastry chef and she can become the electrician. Two years ago, my former HBO colleague James Altucher made a compelling argument for this in "Don't Send Your Kids to College." One of the reactions to Altucher's argument was that unless you are a superstar in your field like Bill Gates or Madonna, a college degree is still necessary.
As for me, I am a mama. With a lot of interests (read any one of my blog entries and you will get an idea). While it is still hard for me to swallow the reality pill that makes me a grownup and not a little girl riding her banana seat bike in 1979, Marlo Thomas' message for children and adults alike is fresh and current in 2012. And because of that, a tear of joy rolls down my cheek.
"I first heard this from Ric von Schnidt. He lives in Cambridge.
Ric is a blues guitarplayer. I met him one day on
the green pastures of the Harvard University."
Those Green pastures now have people placing ads in the Crimson Classifieds for shidduchim.
Though I already wrote him a handwritten note, since this is the ultimate expression of class (which Derek Blasberg recently wrote in his book Very Classy(click on that link to the Washington Post review from 12/2/11) which my own mother reared me properly to do, I have to thank one person in particular for his role in this phishy journey.
PurpleGirl's brother (not blood brother but her soul brotha), The Basketball Coach, is a tall guy. He is gregarious and a true mentch. He also happens to be very tall and easy to pick out of a crowd. So, over the years when I would go to shows and my heart would be pining for my dear soul sista PurpleGirl (because I knew she was at the shows but it wasn't our custom to make a plan to meet) I would keep my little eye out for the Coach.
Because everything happens for a reason, I often spotted the Coach, and would ask him to lead me to PurpleGirl. And that would happen over and over again.
Which leads me to remembering seeing the Coach in the Hartford parking lot a few years ago where I met the very holy M.C. and his kallah as they belted out "Rider" (if you ever see a very sweet, cute, petite, married mandolin-playing duo in Israel please say hello). Seemingly out of nowhere runs along the Coach, and he is sending his regards to me.
Just about this same time is when I saw the mysterious purveyor (I say this because I haven't seen him again since then) who was selling the Mr. Snuffleupagus's sister (or cousin) Alice t-shirt that you will only find from him because he created it (and was a staple on Dead tour, but as I only saw them once, in 1994, yes, I am a late-bloomer but all in my right time, I never saw that shirt before or after). I have since asked the Coach numerous times if he sees this shirt to please get me one and I will pay him back. So, all of you 5 faithful readers out there, if you see that shirt please buy me one and you will make Loony smile, smile, smile.
Coach, you is da bomb! (I mentioned that good-ole phrase to my 2nd son the Wolfman the other night and he had no clue. It was really sweet trying to explain it to him).
Of course I loved "The A Team" growing up in the 1980s, but I am not talking about that Mr. T.
Over the NYE run of shows, this holiday magnet card landed in my hands from a member of the Whole Phamily, Ms. A. This is her son, let's call him Mr. (or, really, since he is a young boy, Master) T.
Thank you for this lovely message. The dancing stars, the cute boy with the long hair (my very own Wolfman used to also have long hair), the purple. Ms. A has known the original PurpleGirl for years and years.
However Reba and I were just having a discussion about how the classic "Happy Hannukah" has devolved into the more generic Happy Holidays. There was a discussion on Kveller regarding the sending of cards by Jews at this time of year rather than at Rosh Hashana, which is the more traditional time to send cards.
For Stango and I personally, we have made it a custom to follow the Jewish calendar and send out a card with a phamily photo in September.
By saying Happy Holidays, there is a watering-down of the message.
Trust me, Ms. A, I am not blaming you, it is just a sign of our culture. Even my alma mater (for Junior year abroad), The Hebrew University of Jerusalem, sent out an end-of-year solicitation with the words "happy holidays" in the subject line. I was pretty appalled that an overtly Jewish institution would be so generic, but Stango justified it by stating they didn't want to offend anyone (particularly their big donors).
I fully understand that we all have phine phine phriends, many of whom don't celebrate Hanukkah and therefore why would I wish them a happy hanukkah? Yet, on the flipside, pretty much everyone out there wishes everyone a "Merry Xmas."
Isn't that a double standard?
Time to step up to the plate as proud, educated and identified Jews! You, Reba, are clearly one of them. And how nice it was of you to order a Shabbes dinner for Phluffhead's dad who is currently hospitalized. Can you pass on a refuah shlaima to him from Stango and me?
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