Just Relax, You're Doing Fine

Had an unfortunate interpersonal fail today which ended up working out.   But it took a while.  It was energy-draining.  Also I am sleep-deprived.  And very busy with many things to do in life.  Grateful for my health, home and family above all.

Still, I found great solace in Strange Design.  As is often the case with so many Phish songs, I find tremendous goodness in their lyrics and music.   This time was no different.

Here's a beautiful rendition.  I was there at my first New Year's Eve shows in 1995.




Strange Design

I'm needing less restraint before
I'm needing to hit the lights and close the door
I'm fine, I'm fine
Cause I'm...

(chorus)

Dripping in this strange design
None is yours and far less mine
Hold the wheel, read the sign
Keep the tires off the line
Just relax, you're doing fine
Swimming in this real thing I call life

Can I bring a few companions on this ride?

I'm feeling, my heart's not beating anymore
I'm feeling.  It's alright, this happened once before
I'm fine, I'm fine.
Cause I'm...

Gearing up for GD50 with The HeadyBand: If I Knew the Way, I Would Take You Home

First and foremost:  We are now selling the original HeadyBand.  $15 plus shipping.  Buy yours now from our Etsy shop!  There's even a coupon code for 10% off down below.  Gotta keep reading!

HeadyBand in Fishman Donut.  Buy one today!

Many of my  readers asked what happened to my blog.  Gone, poof.  No more Loony on Whole Phamily.  It is true I left no message here regarding my whereabouts, and for that I apologize.  However, most of my readers are people I actually know.  So, I have had the good fortune of being able, IRL (that's "in real life" for most of the senior citizens reading, however that likely excludes my mother's friend Rachel and my mother in law who are both impressively Internet-savvy and both of whom I think read my blog), to tell you I am alive and well and selling my wares online.  At long last, here is the official announcement on the blog.

HeadyBand in Cactus.  Any devoted Phish head would understand why I chose this pattern.

Last fall I shifted my energies towards the commercial side of Whole Phamily. Together with Concealed Light, I opened our Etsy shop, where we have made a bunch of sales.  We started our Instagram presence, where we are proud to have 1,585 followers to date.    This is a modest beginning, but it's a start.

While I love writing this blog, I also wanted to earn money while contributing to the music community that I love so much.  This blog didn't fill that need.

Have you noticed yet that you can Buy one of our Many Products right here!

Do not delay!

Get your Whole Phamily merch now!

Last year, while shvitzing it up on the elliptical machine somewhere between Antelope and Iko Iko, I developed the concept for The HeadyBand.

You can buy one of these now in our Etsy shop!

I already sometimes wore headbands at the gym to keep the wispy hairs out of the way.  I owned a 1970s-style Phish terry headband, but my friend Stef said I could not under any circumstance wear that to the gym.  Sure, Phil Lesh, the bass player of the Grateful Dead, could pull it off in the 80s, but not a busy mama striving for even a small semblance of contemporary fashion-fowardness.

Photo copyright James Lee Katz, posted on Thoughts on the Dead

HeadyBands are moisture-wicking headbands in patterns that fans of this music know and love.  I wanted to wear my pride for this subculture at the gym, but not on a t-shirt.

I know.  I know.  It's a great name.  Thanks for the compliment.  The whole shebang isn't copyrighted or trademarked.  So Sue Me!  Yes, I understand the importance of Intellectual Property.   Some of my favorite former clients are Intellectual Property attorneys.  Catch my drift?

The name of what this is - pretty good.  But you think I am actually gonna break the bank with this idea?  Kein yeHi Ratzon, as the pious Jews pray.  May it be your Will, oh G-d and G-d of my foremothers and forefathers, that these HeadyBands should touch the lives of every single soul who needs them, that they bring much mazal, parnasa, segulah and "all good things in all good time"!

And even though I write a lot of Jewish/Hebrew stuff there, HeadyBands are meant for the masses.  This is just my frame of reference:  the Jewish thing.  So, if you, dear reader, were lost with those Hebrew phrases, fear not.  It's all good.





Did you want to hear more about the HeadyBand?   Ok!

HeadyBand in sacred geometry Metatron's Cube.  Click this ENTIRE link and buy one!

Since I live a committed Jewish life, some people think that HeadyBands are intended for the observant Jewish woman in the Orthodox style.  If you want to think that, be my guest.  I was actually inspired by the hippy chicks who love wearing bandanas and headbands at shows.  But it would certainly work well with a fall (a half-head wig).  Attention heady frum mamas (a very small subset of the observant Jewish world):  these headybands are for you!

We're not just about HeadyBands, either.

On our Etsy shop, Concealed Light is making and selling hoodies in similar patterns, as well as in patterns of matryushka dolls and rainbows.  At 11 years old, she is a skilled sewer and I am so proud to partner with her.  I commend this bright shining tween on all of her hard work.  Expect to see absolutely incredible things from her as she grows.  We have sold quite a few hoodies for the babies and toddlers in this sphere.  Great job, my sweet, talented, skilled, bright firstborn child! (it's my blog and I can give her praise here if I want!)

Whole Phamily infant and toddler hoodies are $25 plus shipping.

Buy one today!
You can even custom order your hoodie.

We sell them from 3 mo - 5 T.

Rainbow Hoodie

Dancing Bear Hoodie

Back of Dancing Bear Hoodie

Back of Fishman Donut Hoodie

You don't have to be a Deadhead to love our hoodies!  Matryushka doll pattern is Oh So Adorable!  Buy one here!  

The HeadyBand

Have you noticed yet that you can Buy one of our Many Products right here!

Do not delay!

Get your Whole Phamily merch now!



Which brings me to GD50.

In case you haven't heard, the Grateful Dead is performing their very last shows together this summer, their 50th anniversary.  Jerry Garcia is long gone in the physical world, but his soul is long remembered .  The songs that he and Robert Hunter wrote were truly built to last.  Pete Shapiro is a modern-day Bill Graham (both Jewish men, I might add) and promoting these shows in Santa Clara, CA and Chicago.   They even got Phish guitarist Trey Anastasio to play the "Jerry part."  Not too shabby in my mind.

I believe in conPHergence, unity, setting aside differences and just listening to the good music.  Because both the Dead and Phish produce(d) great great great music.

And I am so so so grateful to have been turned on to this music and the scene.  I connect to its nuggets of goodness, light, and joy.  Like so many others who have come before me, I find deep meaning in the music, lyrics, and greater community.

I am thrilled that Rabbi Shu and the folks at JamShalom will be coming out to Chi-town, partnering with Chabad of the South Loop, and having Shabbes pretty close to the venue.  What a meaningful, great meshing of worlds.

So, it's a big year for Deadheads.  Fare Thee Well, as it were.  And I'm not missing the bus stop this time.

A big year for getting out the good products.

And the good product is The HeadyBand!

It took me a while, but I feel truly blessed to have tuned in and turned on.  In this regard, I am actually talking about the music of the Dead and Phish (yes, blasphemy to say in one breath according to some!) as well as my rich ancient heritage which is as alive and relevant as ever.  My wish is for these worlds to continue to thrive in a positive way to make the world a better place.   And rather than dropping out, I will hope to continue to connect and at least try to walk the walk of society.  Because being part of community is important.

You've got the Do Rey I've got the Me.

Try throwing that one around a board room table at Goldman Sachs.

Then again, who am I to say it hasn't been done by an erudite, educated, of-the-people chassid in the past.

I feel fortunate that I came up with the HeadyBand, and hope that you'll wish us luck, spread the word, and, heck, even buy one or two from us.  I would rather sell out before I hit the Windy City, though it will be fun to push our wares on the streets when we get there.  Chicago is going to be overrun with Deadheads.  It will be FUN FUN FUN!

If you've read thus far, in our Etsy shop, use the Code RambleOnLoony at checkout for 10% off your total purchase.  Thanks in advance for your support!

This is Phish Couch Tour

If you ever were curious about what Phish couch tour looked like, look no further.





Oh.  Waitwaitwaitwaitwait.

(so embarrassed I'm such a silly one I put 7/3/14 and not 8/3/14 not like anyone is gonna actually search for that video, right? or notice my mistake in dates?  Not like this is going into any database, PHEW!!!)

Do you know what couch tour means?

Sorry again I apologize.
This isn't a Phish blog.

me and Trey Anastasio on couch tour (photo taken 8/3/14)

My favorite band is so generous to Live webcast their shows.  Usually you have to pay.  Sometimes we buy the shows and watch.  Tonight is the last night of their summer tour.  Unofficially called Deep South Tour.  Or at least that was the poster Mike was holding earlier tonight.  (sorry, can't find the pic someone tweeted of it...yeah I know dems da breaks).

Anyhoo it's a free show tonight.  Not live music but I know what some of you fellow landsman and women are thinking.  That's ok, everyone's entitled to their thoughts.  I'm entitled to my actions.  Let's leave it at that.

So incredible that their last show of the Summer Tour is in Alpharetta, GA.  As we know this is where Rashi Mincowicz z'l may her memory be a blessing, ran her highly successful Chabad house.  Let's think this show is for her.  Even though I doubt the musicians know her story.

Journeys of Wandering Tribes

As is well known, the name given to a weekly Torah portion reveals its major theme and this week’s parsha, Masey, is quite a trip. 

Masey are journeys – and this week the Torah details the journeys of the Children of Israel "bnei yisrael" during their 40 years of wandering in the desert after the exodus from Egypt.

 

אלה מסעי בני ישראל אשר יצאו מארץ מצרים לצבאותם ביד משה ואהרון

I would like to show some parallels between our own people’s journey  - a people that pursues truth and light, a marginalized people that perseveres and succeeds despite small numbers - and other journeys of modern-day wandering tribes who also seek truth and light.   

There is no research and few data to support my claims, but these tribes feature a very high ratio of Jews.  This group of people embodies an energy that should be harnessed to bring positive change to the world just as The Children of Israel has done since its formation.  These are the people who are the dedicated and devoted live-music fans of a slew of exploratory bands known as “jambands.”   Having just seen my favorite jamband play 2 nights in a row right here, live in Philadelphia, my thoughts on the convergence of Torah and jamband music are still fresh.

The beginning of the Torah portion "parsha" lists a litany of locations – venues, as it were. These are the stops on the tour out of exile.  As the verses, "psukim," say:

“vayisu……..vayachanu….. vayisu, vayachanu…….”

The portion repeats this cadence of "vayisu," they left, and "vayachanu," they camped, for each of the numerous locations. Some sound familiar, some less so, places like Rimmon Peretz, Terach, Chashmonah, The Western Plains of Moav.  This is how we wandered through the desert for 40 years – from one place to another, always temporary, always seeking out the next place until we were ready to enter our promised land.

Similarly, fans of Phish and other jambands, and back in the day, the Grateful Dead, follow their favorite musicians to numerous locations.  Some sound familiar, like Madison Square Garden and The Mann Music Center,  and  some less so, like Bill Graham Civic Auditorium, Deer Creek, The Mothership, The Gorge, and more.  While there are many fans, like myself, who are married with children and live relatively rooted lives, others follow their favorite bands perhaps for a week or a whole tour.  Some in the scene look like they have been wandering for even more than forty years!

The crews pick up and leave to reach the next venue, and camp out for at least a while in the parking lot and tailgate.  They are always looking for the next location, the next venue, the next show, following the good vibes. 

Before I get to my point, I acknowledge some disconnects.  These disconnects include that between Jews on tour and Jews not on tour / "on the bus" (which I imagine is most of the Jewish community).  There is a disconnect between Jews on tour who are connected to traditional Judaism (aka "yiddishkeit" which includes me, a few friends, my husband) and Jews on tour not as connected to our traditions (which includes many friends and would-be friends, wonderful people who live for the live music yet rarely if ever light Shabbat candles, prefer things like pagan gatherings, have xmas trees, marry non Jews, or otherwise shirk anything that seems too “Jewish”).  Of course, this overly simplifies things are there are many shades of gray in between.    

Shortly after the Torah portion details the list of locations, it takes us to a higher level

והורשתם את הארץ וישבתם בה כי לכם נתתי את הארץ לרשת אתה

Clear out the land and live in it, since it is to you that I am giving the land to occupy.

Then we learn that the land is distributed to the families by a lottery system,

והתנחלתם את הארץ בגורל

Similarly, to score the insider’s jamband tickets, one enters a lottery months before tickets are made available to the public through traditional outlets.  In this way, tickets are distributed to the various different inner networks of friends and families, often overlapping circles, that are so dedicated to their bands.

I’m not the first one to try to connect these seeming disconnects.  From 1968-1972 Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach ran the House of Love and Prayer in San Francisco with this in mind.  Many since and many still are on tour with their service to Gd "avodat hashem."  My own experiences at shows are enriched and enhanced by my traditional Jewish vantage point.  At the same time, there have been countless fellow Jews I have chatted with at shows who claim they aren’t religious and say things like, “being at a show is my church,”  and yet this is their most intensely spiritual experience.

Like myself, people go to shows to leave life behind for a while and have a taste of what it feels like to be 17 or 21 or otherwise carefree again.  Yet they are striving to see through the light (lines).  Indeed, there is a lot of fog that surrounds.

The way I see it, light is most illuminated through Shabbat, beginning with Shabbat candles and ending with Havdallah.  Personally I can't see how Shabbat candles can glow brightly at the stage of a live music show, but to each her own.  Lighting candles far away from a festival stage, however, in one's tent, cabin, hotel room etc, has its own merit.  I must add that no mention of Shabbat candles in our generation is complete without gratitude towards the work of the Lubavitcher Rebbe who initiated a widely succesful campaign to encourage Jewish women and children to light Shabbat candles.

I acknowledge the challenge presented in bringing in the light from both worlds - the Jewish and the jamband.  A most memorable Havdallah at a jamband festival did exactly this a few years ago.  Amidst the beautiful music, a small group of us who connect to both these worlds brought down the light of Havdallah.  And yet all the while my friend's crew who was elsewhere on the festival grounds was texting her to return to them, perhaps not realizing the goodness that was happening in our family tent area.  The push and pull tension of both worlds are real, and yet we can harness the best of each.

But where is the journey taking us?

אלה מסעי בני ישראל אשר יצאו מארץ מצרים לצבאותם

לצבאותם

We left exile in organized groups, in tribes, as crews, and we need to connect the dots, bring together our collective energies and fulfill our mission, arrive at our destination.  When we do this we will all make it to the ultimate show and will merit the ultimate encore.

Then we will be picked up and leave:  Vayisu

And we will be taken on the wings of eagles:  V'Yachanu

And all of us wandering tribes will camp out together in our land forever.

Theodore Herzl famously said, "If you will it, it is no dream."  Especially in these heady times of unrest in Israel, we need to hold onto this modern-day expression of our Gd-given promised land.  And of a time when all will be good.

The light will be bright.
The music will ulnite.
We will all be kind.
We will be redeemed. 

The jam will be epic.

GOOD SHABBAS!
SHABBAT SHALOM!

me at a Jones Beach Phish show , June 2009

Keeping Things on the DL, (aka close to the vest)

You want to share your big secret but maybe you shouldn't.  Just keep it under wraps.  That's my suggestion.

As a former legal industry applications consultant for LexisNexis, I am clearly aware of Intellectual Property law.  Go ahead, ask me a question about Title 17 of the USC.  And yet I am fascinated by one part of the subculture of musical bands like The Grateful Dead and Phish who continue to innovate and find inspiration from classic American brands.

This is why I take photos of these shirts and share them in I Love Lot Shirts.  I am neither selling nor buying, just sharing in the groove.  It wouldn't be worth it to litigate against any of these people:  they're all tiny operations.  I don't even know who the people are behind them.  But I love that people create these images and they print them on shirts (and hats, capes, etc).

National Phish Association.  Trey shreds it up at half court.

It would be a good year if you jibboo-d, too!

It happens all the time

Thank you so much, Phish, for Winterqueen.  It really speaks to me.

Rashi Mincowicz, Of Blessed Memory and SITM

"Unimaginable heartache" is what my friend Rachel just told me when I mentioned the sudden passing last week of Rashi Mincowicz. z'l.  She was 37.  Married and a mother of 8 children.  It was a huge shock.  She was named for her grandmother who also passed away at the age of 37.  She ran a Chabad house.  I can't even get into what that means, but it's all good.  Clearly she had beautiful taste - look at this photo of her and her beautiful family.

But the style is just the surface.  She wrote a beautiful email to her family last year when her aunt passed away regarding how to deal with loss of a family member that has been shared with the public.  And it is very deep.  Way deeper than the beauty you see on the surface in the picture above.

Rashi lived in/near the town of Alpharetta, which is where Phish played numerous times.  So I recognized that right away.

Her children have no mama.
Such sadness.
Look at that sweet little baby next to her.

Do what you can and support them to help with household help.

Music isn't the thing we do when someone passes away in the Jewish tradition, but I am posting this anyway.   A lot of special people go to see Phish.  And they were all right near Rashi at the time in Alpharetta.  They play Silent in the Morning (SITM).  I don't know what the words mean exactly but it's a pretty tune.  So, I dedicate this to Rashi Mincowicz whose neshama (soul) should have an aliya in shamayim (have an honor in heaven) and continue to glow, sparkle, and offer "resounding echoes" of bracha (blessing) to her family.

I Must inquire, Mr. Salinger, can you still have fun?

Today is the 4th anniversary of J.D Salinger's death.  Us Jews call it a yahrtzeit.  Even though he wasn't Jewish, Salinger's father was.  Close enough.

You should watch the documentary about him.   You really should. I liked it.  Then again, I am no film critic.  I told a friend that I watched it; she said she heard it got bad reviews.  I don't care.  I liked seeing all the interviews.   I liked envisioning eating popcorn made with brewer's yeast with Jerry, which is what he did with one of his young girlfriends.  That would've been fun.  But then again that never would've happened cuz I wasn't a good writer.  As such, Salinger wouldn't have been terribly interested in me. 

Here is my own sweetness at the library last week.  I hope he and all of my kinderlach will love Salinger's many works.  And that they will read more than just Salinger (which is what I basically did in high school.  That and Cliff's Notes for the rest of the stuff).  And that they will be better writers than me.  

And why the blog title, you ask?  Cuz I was listening to Wilson from 12/31/91 today, a show I should have been at in Worcester when I was a college sophomore, just after the prime of my wannabe Salingeresque youth, but wasn't.  And boy is that Wilson so much fun.  The blog title comes from Wilson.  A lot of modern-day Holdens have enjoyed that one.  Please me have no regrets that one comes straight from my baby Levi's mouth.

Which leads me to the whole Wilson-Seattle football team thing that Trey got going.  I love these guys.

Here's a look at Wilson from last summer.  The very day when Levi, the sweetness above, was born.  Not like Trey knew that.  But hey, it's all connected.

Jews and Phish In the HuffPost

My favorite band and my lifestyle come together, from my vantage point, at every show I attend these days.  So I was pretty psyched to see coverage of this very topic - my thoughts validated - over the weekend in the Huffington Post in One. Epic. Article.

I'm glad, glad, glad that there are good writers out there like Josh Fleet, the author of the article (full disclosure:  we are friendly IRL).

I'm glad, glad, glad that there are good news blogs out there like the Huffington Post (full disclosure:  I have never met Arianna).

I'm glad, glad, glad that there are good bands out there like Phish (full disclosure:  I stood behind Trey and Fish once at a friend's wedding. I don't know them, but my friend does).

Phish plays great music.  They are remarkable musicians.  That goes without saying.  I have said that here before.  Jon Pareles has already noted this in the NY Times.  "Remarkable musicianship" was his exact phrase a few years ago.  I am not making this stuff up myself.  But they about more than good music.  They have a message and I hear it loud and clear (as per the aforementioned HuffPost article).  It is about so much:  the light, kindness, youth, human decency, silliness, folklore.  The 4 guys are a bit nebbishy in a good way.  They remind me of guys I know.  They seem like great, decent guys.  And their fans are great, decent people who happen to love great, decent music. 

Speaking of their fans and acquaintances, how awesome is it that I ran into Big Josh (who maybe people should call instead Mensch Josh.  Stango would call him Reb Josh) and Shmeeans at MSG last week?   (full disclosure:  I am friendly with this Josh, too, IRL  And Shmeeans, well, we've met but never really hung out)  Shmeeans is currently on Jam Cruise, something which sounds so fun and, incidentally, where Fish is right now with his band Pork Tornado (yeah yeah you like the treif stuff, I know).  I have heard Shmeeans' band Lettuce and all I gotta say is that dude knows how to rage it proper.

Josh said we should all smile in the picture.  I guess I should have smiled.  I look pretty ridiculous here.

We Built This City...

On rock and roll, you hum?  No!  On compost.  Kudos, congrats, kol hakavod to New York City for running a pilot city compost program.

While visiting my sister Reba this week I saw the bins along her street.  Naturally the neighborhood is the perfect place to try it out:  she lives in a part of Brooklyn where you have a lot of organic food pushers.  So glad NYC is moving along with this.

Further to my music reference above, I am happy to report that my end of year visit to Manhattan was wonderful all around.  It was fueled by the music that I love best.  I saw friends and family both at the shows and in the times in between. We went to museums, consumed many a brunch, walked through Central Park with the kinderlach, and hung with the cousins. Levi did well with his mama out two nights in a row and I was grateful to my sister and brother in law for facilitating that.  Sadly I didn't allow my children to watch a movie on New Year's Eve, and that was a break with their tradition.  My children were acting way overtired so I just made them to to bed by 10.   Why I couldn't get it together for them to be sitting at a movie by 8 I don't know why.  Oh right I have a baby.  But what about my Stango help?  Obviously I failed in delegating and giving him some guidance.  Gotta work on that. 

While I would love to wax poetic about how Madison Square Garden is the most festive, fun, youthful, for-kids-of-all-ages-perhaps-15-and-over celebration in all of New York City, I gotta get dressed and make school lunches.

And just because you should see the greatness of what New Year's Eve could look like


 And here's to 30 years of Phish (didn't see it yet as I didn't go to the New Year's show)



If it was the secular New Year that means that Chinese New Year is coming up which means it's time to make Marci's "chinese New Year's cookies!"  I have had the ingredients for a while now.

Oh, so much to do...
And just because

Blues Brothers On New Year's Eve Would be Fun!

So many people were disappointed that Phish didn't cover a whole album, as has been their custom for the past many years, on Halloween this year in Atlantic City.   Well, why not stay broken from tradition and make up for this on New Year's Eve as part of their annual "prank?"

And do a cover of the Blues Brothers soundtrack?




At the gym today I listened to it, and yep, it could totally fly!

Maybe they should do an abridged format.

But I can just picture it:  bring out the Giant Country Horns



Who would cover Aretha, though?





If Clapton and Jeff Beck already covered Shake Your Moneymaker, why can't Phish?





And how about Shake a Tail Feather...the ultimate!



I mean, pulease!  Isn't that just custom-made for Fish?

Phish is My Church, With Some Sweat To Boot!

That's a line I have heard so many times over at shows.
Said mostly by people who don't go to church.
At least regularly.

Not the choice of words I would use, but I like to be provocative.
You actually thought I would say that?

But you could fill in other words, too.

Phish is My Zen.
Phish is My Temple.
Phish is My Services.
Phish is My Child's Pose.
Phish is My Creme Brulee.
Phish is My Monastery.
Phish is My 30 Foot Yacht.
Phish is My Minaret.
Phish is My Delicious Dish.

For those who go or don't go to houses of worship, one thing that those who see Phish repeatedly over the years have in common with prayer services is a set liturgy.  We know the songs, we love the music, we know the words (or don't, and just hum along).  It is a familiar feeling of coming home, a sense of happiness and elevation to a more meaningful level of life that draws us again and again to see this great band.

And for the newbies, the uninitiated among us, that first show can also be a sense of homeyness, comfort, joy.

And this is one of many reasons why I am so grateful for Phish.  I plan to run the Midnight Run (um...Just learned the fee is $65!  Fer realz!?!?  I could get to a show for just a little bit more $!  Alas, I really am looking forward to running in Central Park.  It's been a long time)  next week on New Year's eve (no NYE Phish show for me; but I'll be there for some shows earlier in the NYE run).

I haven't run a 5K in a while.  So at the gym just now I gave it a test run.  I played some Live Bait and I was set.  All I needed was a Wilson, Tweezer and YEM and I got there with minimal pain, and maximum gain.  So happy to listen to my favorite music and do a leisurely 5k on the treadmill.

And if you caught my SNL reference above, check out Mr. Alec Baldwin.  'Tis the season, after all.





I imagine that link won't last long. Lorne, I hear ya on protecting your Intellectual Property, but can you give this mama a break?

Lela the Fawn is the Underground Sophie the Giraffe and Why I Wish I Could Write Like Cool Mom Shit and I Love Wes Anderson

Make no mistake: I am an amateur.  I make no money from this blog.  My readership is limited.  My look and feel is crude and rudimentary.  Wes Anderson look and feel?  Yeah, right!

Yet, and let me be quite bold here, my ideas are huge. My thoughts are big.  My uncanny ability to make connections is unparalleled.  I often ask Stango when will my time come for those who matter to recognize my efforts?  When will I get credit where credit's due?  When will the stars align and all my dreams become realities?

You might chalk it up to being too scattered with no focus on one particular niche, but I'm onto stuff.

If you had a baby in the past 10 years and you have any semblance of cultural currency, you're familiar with Sophie the Giraffe.  I recall when I first saw her in an upscale children's shop on Greenwich Avenue (yes, to all you in-the-know mothers who make their own baby food and don't give credit to Diane Keaton where credit is due since she's the original Hollywood make your own baby food mama in Baby Boom, I'm talking about Giggle).

I thought Sophie was cute, but we were past the teething stage and I the $25 price tag for a TEETHING TOY was obscene.  It was more about what I saw Sophie became.  For an East Coast mama, lemme pat myself on the back and state I was always 2 steps ahead of the trends when it came to baby gear (having adopted the Ergo in 2003 (I think ours came shipped straight from Hawaii when they were still small-scale!) and the BOB SUS stroller in 2004 (back when the original 3 guys were still running the company and before the moved to Idaho-Utah or wherever they moved to once they outgrew their San Luis Obispo locale, and wayyyyy before they sold out to Britax) , but when she became Sophie The Giraffe That Everyone And Her Follow The Trendy Herd Mother and Her Mother Must Have (she's sold in Toys R Us now?  Are you kidding me!?!), you can betchyer bottom dollar that I would.not.buy.this.for.my.child.

Fast forward many years.

I have a sweet new baby.

#4 in case you were sleeping the past coupla months.

And I have discovered Lela the Fawn.

As my new friend Angela, the owner of the super awesome store Cloth in South Philly quips, Lela is the Underground Sophie.

And I'm a proud owner of her.

Scratch that.  Eddie is.

Scratch that.  Levi is.

I decided it's time to go with real names.  At least for my own kids.  (remember, I'm not a professional blogger, but it's one of the many many "shards of brilliance" that Liz Gumbinner of Cool Mom Picks has mentioned in the past.  Oh why oh why oh why can't I write like Liz.  I love Liz.  I mean I love what she writes.  She's seriously the coolest and I have said that here before.  No she's not the coolest.  Her blog, she wrote recently, was called Cool Mom Shit for 3 days.  So it's safe to say that Liz Gumbinner is the shizzle.  Liz is the shizzlest.)

Looks like Lela just hit the sidewalks this past summer.  Thanks David Beerman and Ivy Street for bringing her over from Deutschland.  Mr. Beerman's company distributes the Moby Wrap.  Yet another baby gear product that was way underground for years.  Don't get me started on babywearing.  When will German Woven Wraps (GWW) have their 15 minutes?  When will they really emerge from the underground?   How ridiculous is it that I only have a Neobulle and a Dulcino and mostly what people say to me is, "Is that a Moby Wrap?"  Uh, no, sorry, there is litcherally a *whole world* of baby carriers out there!  I love The Baby Wearer and admit I haven't been on there nearly enough, and Wrapping Rachel  and Babywearing Faith are my heros and I've only mastered the FWCC but really I should be able to do the FWC by now, let alone the HWCC and when am I gonna move onto rebozo, rucksack and learn how to do a candy cane chestbelt (is that CCC? See, I'm not babywearing geeky enough).  I recently posted on my baby wearing group's Facebook account that someone ought to write a definitive book on all the carries out there (including their acronyms).  Enough about my babywearing digression for now.

This mama's all over that shit fawn!

Take that, trendy mama.

Whole Phamily rocks this town!

Oh, and I should mention I had the most lovely birthday last week.  No more Facebook birthday announcement for me.  I decided last year, taking inspiration from my sis Reba, to delete my birthday from Facebook.  I didn't want "fake" birthday greetings.  And ya know what, those who really matter to me wished me birthday greetings.  I was touched, even if these are friends I never speak with, or maybe once a year.  Or maybe we do still speak every couple of months.  These are my long-time peeps.  I wish we got to hang out more.

I often send a Stevie Wonder birthday greeting to people on Facebook, but alas nary a yom huledet sameach on my page.

We had rack of lamb for dinner.   Stango got me the new Wes Anderson book.  I hired extra cleaning help on Friday in anticipation of our many visitors over the weekend.  New Bobbi Brown makeup and Lululemon workout clothes worked their way into the mix.  My mother in law gave me a really pretty pair of Edwin Pearl earrings she no longer wears (keep your no-longer-wearing-it jewelry coming!) and my birthday celebration extended over many days.  We just finished the delicious Crumbs cupcakes I guilted my sweet husband into gettting since I had no cake over the weekend (granted, it *was* Thanksgivukkah AND our anniversary).

And now for some clips that I overtly or subliminally referred to in this post:

"betchyer bottom dollar" (feeling guilty I haven't taken Concealed Light umm Nistar yet to Annie but I'll be honest here and state that I am a show seat snob when it comes to Broadway and I would only guess it would be $200 a seat to take her and you think I can afford that?  Erase your preconceived notions of who you might think I am just because I just posted all that material stuff about my birthday.  $400 is a lot of money for me.)

Baby Boom




Rock this Town - Stray Cats


Happy Birthday

Listening to Stevie now is getting me pretty psyched for the funk Phish is gonna likely bust out this coming New Year's... you know Boogie On is simply the best!






Meanwhile in Wes Anderson land...this is coming, this is coming soon!





And someone said I have no focus?

BDE Lou Reed RIP: Our Lives Were Saved by Rock n Roll

The rock music world lost one of its icons this weekend.  Lou Reed was 71 and passed away from complications of liver disease.  He was famously the lead singer of the Velvet Underground.  I knew his tune "Walk on the Wild Side" just as much as any other high school kid in the '80s who listened to classic rock radio.  But it was only later in life that one tune of his in particular spoke to me.

Ask any Phish head and they will likely agree that their cover of Reed's "Rock and Roll" is a winner.  My family didn't precisely live out the suburban caricature he depicts in the song, but we were supposed to.  We had one Cadillac car which I never liked.  I didn't turn on the radio when I was 5 years old, but later in life I danced to plenty of rock n roll stations.   When I was five I was dancing in the living room to "A Chorus Line" soundtrack with my friend Julie from up the street.

There is nothing finer than experiencing this tune live, and I'm so grateful for it.

Here's Phish covering the tune at their "It" festival in Limestone, Maine in Summer of 2003

As I told Bob Lefsetz this morning, Lou was also a Yid, so when a Jewish person passes away we say Baruch Dayan haEmet:  blessed is the ruler of truth.   The Jewish way of saying rest in peace.  May his soul journey from this world to the next in the most peaceful and blessed way.  I read that Lou didn't consider himself Jewish, but that rock n roll was his religion.  I hear where he's coming from:  my guess is he never found a way to converge the two worlds.  But that's where we must be headed, folks, because there is no other way than going towards the light.  Gleaning the good from both worlds.  Just ask the Nunever in this year's upcoming Blues for Challah and he can tell you all about it!

Thank you Lou Reed for your words, your music, your soul.

Now, if Phish would only play this again tomorrow night in Reading when I attend my only show of Fall Tour!  Doubtful...

Friendship found, friendship lost...But how would you Know?

Have you ever had a friendship where it seems like there is more effort from one person to keep the friendship up?  I'm sure you have. We all have.  In general, I enjoy the company of most women I meet and can always find something to chat about.  I always try to find something good in everyone.   But the deeper friendship...there aren't too many people in the world that I have been friends with whom I have felt a really deep connection.  One that you can't really put into words.  All it really takes is one or two really good friends.

There is one person that I have known for close to twenty years, but I guess it had to take me to my 40th birthday to really let it sink in that we're not BFFs, to borrow a teeny bopper term.  Naturally, since we haven't lived in the same town for a while, I knew that we weren't best of friends.  Yet I am the person who always went to seek her out, visited her at her place, made the effort to make plans.  Maybe that's a sign of maturing, getting older, that I am trying to deal with this.  The whole Facebook thing doesn't really help.  We see each other every once in a while, maybe once a year, at events of mutual interest.  Usually we just bump into each other.

It's not fun and it's not easy.  I would rather we be closer friends.  I'd rather her visit or call.  I guess that's just not in the cards.  40 is good like that:  my life is otherwise full and vibrant.  Who needs the sadness of a friendship that was never really what I thought it could be?

And yet, after all these years I continue to think about it.

The 1st verse from Dylan's "He Was a Friend of Mine" makes me think of her.  She is alive and well, so the rest doesn't really apply.  But the 1st verse does.

(s)he was a friend of mine
(s)he was a friend of mine
Every time I think about (her) now
Lord I just can't keep from cryin'
'Cause (s) was a friend of mine



"Light," by Phish, a favorite tune of mine especially performed live, also reminds me of this friend.  Especially the less-often heard verse

Obstacles are stepping stones
That guide us to our goals
Fences are filters
That purify our souls

The song has great hope.  It makes me feel like whatever happens in life, this friend and I continue to be connected.  The obstacles that exist in the friendship are there for a reason and perhaps the reason why our friendship hasn't been more than I'd hoped is purposeful and the right thing for me.  Who knows, one day we may cross paths in a meaningful, lasting way.  Doesn't everything happen for a reason?

Reason #127 Why My Favorite Band Should Play in Israel

It has taken his entire career to make it to Israel, but former Grateful Dead drummer Mickey Hart will be playing in Jerusalem this August.  He is performing as part of the Jerusalem Sacred Music Festival.  He is the only Jewish member of the Grateful Dead.

Mickey Hart  photo from Jpost.com

No doubt, Jewish Deadheads worldwide are kvelling.

I have said it before and I will say it again:  changes a' comin'.  This gives me hope that one day, my favorite band will make it to Israel.  (this isn't the time and place to say how the Grateful Dead leads me to Phish.  For just one convo on that topic, go here)

And despite that my sort of silly sort of not silly calculations that led me to predict that Phish would play there last December didn't come true, it still gives me hope.

Phish is celebrating 30 years this year...the time is now.

If not now, when?  -Hillel

When you post things of your kids they wouldn't appreciate

I like to think of myself as a loving mama.  I love my children and I love so much of what they do.  I respect their privacy but I am also so proud of some of their things.  Naturally, in this day and age I want to share them on the holy grail of the Internet.

For example.  After test-running the following image created by my beloved near-8 year old the Wolfman with our very special kin The Nunever, I made the executive decision to share on Facebook and Twitter.   The Nunever said it must have been one of my proudest mothering moments.  Indeed, I was kvelling.  Did the Wolfman specifically say don't share it?  No.  But if I asked him would he be happy?  Don't think so.

Still, mama's got to take liberties some time...

Nice...it got retweeted by YemBlog!

This is pretty darn good stuff for your typical Phish-loving mama.  Just don't tell the Wolfman about this.  And, if you do, tell him it's the least he can do for his mama who doesn't even celebrate the upcoming Hallmark holiday of Mother's Day.

What? Me? Persnikedy?

As I mention from time to time, this isn't a Phish blog, but as a huge fan, I feel compelled to share this wonderful 2 minute clip from a recent interview on CBS Sunday Morning with Phish's lead guitarist, Trey Anastasio.  It shows Trey in such a real way - he loves his fans and that they give him the ability to feel  "openmindness...encouragement to take risks...a desire to go at least a little bit somewhere that is new and unexplored."

As I told the Nunever, the only persnikediness I feel is that I haven't been consulted personally on what I think are great ideas for the band, and that's no joke.

Which leads me to remembering a great lesson I learned this week..."Who is rich?   One who is happy with her lot." -Pirkei Avot

And though I have heard it many times over, the lesson learned is that everyone has a lot, or a portion.  No one will ever have everything.  We all get a portion.  So, perhaps my portion with regard to Phish is simply to enjoy where I am and what I have already experienced with this incredible musical outfit.

Trey Anastasio with CBS Sunday Morning's Anthony Mason     photo courtesy of liveforlivemsic.com

My LL Bean Boat & Tote

Grew up with these excellent bags - they were our "swim club" bag.  The.best.qualilty.bag.of.its.sort.  LL Bean has improved the bag tremendously over the years with various sizes, a zipper top option, and different colors.

I have no clue if other people have done this, but here is how we personalized it.  We brought the patches to a shoe maker.  Unless you have a heavy duty sewing machine, don't kid yourself that you can take this on by yourself.  The canvas is thick and if you want a good, solid job done, pay the approximate $5 per patch to have it sewn on and do it right.  No, you can not rely on the iron-on stickiness on the back of the patches.  Don't be cheap.  Bring it to your shoemaker.  And if you bring more patches, maybe you can strike a bulk deal.

It is still a work in progress, there may be more patches to come, but this is it for 2012...

Our patched up LL Bean Boat & Tote Bag.  It has an outdoorsy, New York State, Canadian, heady feel.  We so LOVE our bag!

From top left, clockwise:  Lake Placid, NY, Appalacian Trail (The "AT"), Canadian maple leaf (with deep Canadian roots, I can legitamately state "Oh Canada, my home and native land"...BTW do yo know how long this patch has been sitting around?  Likely since 2000!  Time to use up the stuff lying around!), and 2012 Phamily (purchased at the recent Atlantic City  Phish show, from Phanbadge...btw how thrilled was I to find this?  I suggested to Brian, the purveyor of Phanbadge, that he check out this blog, since I surmised he was a family guy however just like most folks, this stuff is still quite verbose so little expectation there).

Long Lake, just one of the many stops we have made in the Adirondacks over the years, Stealie - Grateful Dead 

From top left, clockwise:  Bronx Zoo, our backyard playground for 5 years when we resided in the Bronx, NYS Environmental Conservation Junior Naturalist acquired when we car camped when Concealed Light was 3 and the Wolfman was 1, Swimmer vintage circa late 70s/early 80s this person definitely was a star swimmer! (I personally never got to swimmer level, only to Intermediate, don't think American Red Cross uses these designations anymore, but do you remember Beginner, Advanced Beginner, Intermediate, Swimmer, and what was next?)

other side of the bag

From ADK Outlet in Lake Placid; I waxed poetic about them in another post

Here is what LL Bean wrote to me:

Dear Ms. Loonin,

Thank you for contacting L.L.Bean with the great story of your Boat and Tote bag. It brought smiles to me and my peers faces.  I have forwarded you email to our Corporate Office to let them see your Boat and Tote bag.

Thank you again for contacting L.L.Bean Ms. Loonin. I am hoping someday to see an update with more patches.

Sincerely,
Heather B.
L.L.Bean Customer Service
            800-441-5713      
llbean.com

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