Journeys of Wandering Tribes

As is well known, the name given to a weekly Torah portion reveals its major theme and this week’s parsha, Masey, is quite a trip. 

Masey are journeys – and this week the Torah details the journeys of the Children of Israel "bnei yisrael" during their 40 years of wandering in the desert after the exodus from Egypt.

 

אלה מסעי בני ישראל אשר יצאו מארץ מצרים לצבאותם ביד משה ואהרון

I would like to show some parallels between our own people’s journey  - a people that pursues truth and light, a marginalized people that perseveres and succeeds despite small numbers - and other journeys of modern-day wandering tribes who also seek truth and light.   

There is no research and few data to support my claims, but these tribes feature a very high ratio of Jews.  This group of people embodies an energy that should be harnessed to bring positive change to the world just as The Children of Israel has done since its formation.  These are the people who are the dedicated and devoted live-music fans of a slew of exploratory bands known as “jambands.”   Having just seen my favorite jamband play 2 nights in a row right here, live in Philadelphia, my thoughts on the convergence of Torah and jamband music are still fresh.

The beginning of the Torah portion "parsha" lists a litany of locations – venues, as it were. These are the stops on the tour out of exile.  As the verses, "psukim," say:

“vayisu……..vayachanu….. vayisu, vayachanu…….”

The portion repeats this cadence of "vayisu," they left, and "vayachanu," they camped, for each of the numerous locations. Some sound familiar, some less so, places like Rimmon Peretz, Terach, Chashmonah, The Western Plains of Moav.  This is how we wandered through the desert for 40 years – from one place to another, always temporary, always seeking out the next place until we were ready to enter our promised land.

Similarly, fans of Phish and other jambands, and back in the day, the Grateful Dead, follow their favorite musicians to numerous locations.  Some sound familiar, like Madison Square Garden and The Mann Music Center,  and  some less so, like Bill Graham Civic Auditorium, Deer Creek, The Mothership, The Gorge, and more.  While there are many fans, like myself, who are married with children and live relatively rooted lives, others follow their favorite bands perhaps for a week or a whole tour.  Some in the scene look like they have been wandering for even more than forty years!

The crews pick up and leave to reach the next venue, and camp out for at least a while in the parking lot and tailgate.  They are always looking for the next location, the next venue, the next show, following the good vibes. 

Before I get to my point, I acknowledge some disconnects.  These disconnects include that between Jews on tour and Jews not on tour / "on the bus" (which I imagine is most of the Jewish community).  There is a disconnect between Jews on tour who are connected to traditional Judaism (aka "yiddishkeit" which includes me, a few friends, my husband) and Jews on tour not as connected to our traditions (which includes many friends and would-be friends, wonderful people who live for the live music yet rarely if ever light Shabbat candles, prefer things like pagan gatherings, have xmas trees, marry non Jews, or otherwise shirk anything that seems too “Jewish”).  Of course, this overly simplifies things are there are many shades of gray in between.    

Shortly after the Torah portion details the list of locations, it takes us to a higher level

והורשתם את הארץ וישבתם בה כי לכם נתתי את הארץ לרשת אתה

Clear out the land and live in it, since it is to you that I am giving the land to occupy.

Then we learn that the land is distributed to the families by a lottery system,

והתנחלתם את הארץ בגורל

Similarly, to score the insider’s jamband tickets, one enters a lottery months before tickets are made available to the public through traditional outlets.  In this way, tickets are distributed to the various different inner networks of friends and families, often overlapping circles, that are so dedicated to their bands.

I’m not the first one to try to connect these seeming disconnects.  From 1968-1972 Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach ran the House of Love and Prayer in San Francisco with this in mind.  Many since and many still are on tour with their service to Gd "avodat hashem."  My own experiences at shows are enriched and enhanced by my traditional Jewish vantage point.  At the same time, there have been countless fellow Jews I have chatted with at shows who claim they aren’t religious and say things like, “being at a show is my church,”  and yet this is their most intensely spiritual experience.

Like myself, people go to shows to leave life behind for a while and have a taste of what it feels like to be 17 or 21 or otherwise carefree again.  Yet they are striving to see through the light (lines).  Indeed, there is a lot of fog that surrounds.

The way I see it, light is most illuminated through Shabbat, beginning with Shabbat candles and ending with Havdallah.  Personally I can't see how Shabbat candles can glow brightly at the stage of a live music show, but to each her own.  Lighting candles far away from a festival stage, however, in one's tent, cabin, hotel room etc, has its own merit.  I must add that no mention of Shabbat candles in our generation is complete without gratitude towards the work of the Lubavitcher Rebbe who initiated a widely succesful campaign to encourage Jewish women and children to light Shabbat candles.

I acknowledge the challenge presented in bringing in the light from both worlds - the Jewish and the jamband.  A most memorable Havdallah at a jamband festival did exactly this a few years ago.  Amidst the beautiful music, a small group of us who connect to both these worlds brought down the light of Havdallah.  And yet all the while my friend's crew who was elsewhere on the festival grounds was texting her to return to them, perhaps not realizing the goodness that was happening in our family tent area.  The push and pull tension of both worlds are real, and yet we can harness the best of each.

But where is the journey taking us?

אלה מסעי בני ישראל אשר יצאו מארץ מצרים לצבאותם

לצבאותם

We left exile in organized groups, in tribes, as crews, and we need to connect the dots, bring together our collective energies and fulfill our mission, arrive at our destination.  When we do this we will all make it to the ultimate show and will merit the ultimate encore.

Then we will be picked up and leave:  Vayisu

And we will be taken on the wings of eagles:  V'Yachanu

And all of us wandering tribes will camp out together in our land forever.

Theodore Herzl famously said, "If you will it, it is no dream."  Especially in these heady times of unrest in Israel, we need to hold onto this modern-day expression of our Gd-given promised land.  And of a time when all will be good.

The light will be bright.
The music will ulnite.
We will all be kind.
We will be redeemed. 

The jam will be epic.

GOOD SHABBAS!
SHABBAT SHALOM!

me at a Jones Beach Phish show , June 2009

Blues For Challah Setlist Recap

We're nearly done unpacking from Blues For Challah:  The Second Set, and what a weekend it was.  The Whole Phamily was so grateful to have the opportunity to provide social media services and onsite kids' programming to this weekend.  I hope that these efforts were successful.  Here are some highlights:

 Seth Rogovoy's presentation on Bob Dylan's link to Judaism was polished, well-delivered, and entertaining in its own right.  I wrote about Rogovoy's book earlier, but had no clue that his presentation would include live performance.  How happy was I when he confirmed my suspicions regarding the messianic theme of Quinn the Eskimo?!?   And even happier when I shared that Phish's rendition brings Quinn to a new level.





Meeting Michelle Esrick, the brainchild i.e. filmmaker behind the Wavy Gravy movie Saint Misbehavin', was a real treat.  We sat at the same table on Friday night and I was thrilled, since I am connected to challah baking, to be asked to explain the symbolism behind using two challot and salt at a shabbes table.  Her sister and I connected on mindfulness meditation.  I lamented I have yet to read Jon Kabet-Zinn's book on it that Stango gave to me already a few years ago.  Michelle's film was educational about Wavy Gravy's life and mission.  Because of the weekend's intimate setting, I couldn't have imagined a more perfect scene.  I loved that Concealed Light asked after the film's screening, "what's the big deal about Wavy Gravy?"  This film, therefore, opened the door for my 9 year old regarding the whys behind the 60s counterculture.  Sure, she knows we love Dylan and the Dead, and that we read plenty of books about MLK, Jr in February, but a two sentence explanation (end of Camelot, fight for Civil Rights, end of Baby Boom, the Beatles, Vietnam) was a good start.

Me and Michelle Esrick, producer/director of Saint Misbehavin'

Of course, I loved that Michelle expressed that her presence at this weekend was bashert and from Hashem (two terms she learned just this weekend).  Doesn't everything happen for a reason?  Hakol bashamayim hi.  (you can ask your rabbi what that one means).

Meeting Rabbi Moshe "Mickey" Shur finally was inspiring.  He grew up with Stango's close childhood friend's father.  We had long-heard of Berman's dad's hippy cum frum friend.  I was thrilled to see that, even though I didn't know him when he knew Wavy Gravy while living in San Francisco in the 60s, he maintained his open, loving, laid-back, funny, warm vibe that was clearly a product of those years.

Saturday night jam:  a bunch of participants brought out their guitars, drums and voices for a really fun homegrown Dead jam.  What an interesting mix of people.  The diversity of Jewish folks is captured in this brief video where we see Rabbi Moshe "Mickey" Shur's son on vocals (long payos dude).





Stango was most impressed by Arthur Kurtzweil's presentations on lyrics.  He was also the keynote speaker.  Stango liked that he got to the real truth on a high intellectual plane without fluff, pretense, or glamour.  That's my husband for ya.

I ran the kids groups for which I received positive feedback.  We made centerpiece tablescapes for the dining room tables with Duplos .  We acted out a play about the parsha with the parts of Yaakov, Eisav and Hashem.  We read the parsha story.  We visited the goats.  We ate fantastic snacks provided by Isabella Freedman.  We dressed up as turtles, pirates and creative play silk creatures.  We read books about being a young farmer.  We played Uno and Zingo.   We enjoyed Pez as a Shabbes treat which was cleared ahead of time with the program director (since I am sensitive to the healthy food vibe at Isabella Freedman; I am, after all, an advocate of drinking raw milk and eating fermented foods), though it wasn't for everyone.

photo from jkrglobal.com

Pez at a Dead show is just so much fun, so that was where I was going with that.  Or just a couple of Mike and Ike's.  But I don't know if the kids fully understood that this was very specific to being at a Dead show.  They likely just saw it as candy.

Here are some more photos and footage.

Stango and Concealed Light at Dead Jam

Stango and The Nunever.  Rodeo!  Note the lovely Gucci scarf.

these guys knew how to jam!  Another son of Rabbi Shur and Rabbi Jeff Hoffman

Concealed Light felt stifled that she couldn't read chords.  Clearly was too tired to improvise and jam, which I know she is capable of.

 And how is it that I always thought this was a Peter, Paul and Mary song?

 


What a success!  Hope to join again next year!

Elmo, the Count and Sesame Street Connections

Of course, the news of sexual allegations by Elmo puppeteer Kevin Clash is disturbing, and I certainly hope and pray that these are, indeed, just allegations.  As you know, lately I have been ruminating about child predators and how to keep my own children safe.  I remind myself of the old dictum "innocent until proven guilty."

Yet, H. Melvin Ming, the president and chief executive of Sesame Workshop assured the New York Times that, as with the passing of Jim Henson and, this year, the Count, the brand will endure after this incident.

Wait...that Count passed away?

That's right, folks, Jerry Nelson, the man who played Count von Count for nearly 40 years, passed away on August 23, 2012, at the age of 78.  That makes me sad, very sad.  And, how exactly did I miss that last summer?

courtesy of HLNTV.com

(no need to worry about the Count, he lives on via the expertise of Muppeteer Matt Vogel)

And, now...the connections.

Mr. Nelson debuted his character on November 27, 1972. Just two days before my birth!
And he passed away just one day before Concealed Light's birthday.

I'm no brain scientist, Torah scholar or musical prodigy but this is the kinda stuff that pretty much blows me away.

And just because this video is 1:27 in length (a number I simply love, see here for more despite that my prediction is null and void and yeah I'm ok with that), I shall share it with you:



If you thought I was gonna share an Elmo video, you gotta be kidding me.

Whole Phamily Takes the Crew on the Road

In case you might have missed our most recent gig Camping with My Kids & a Whole Bunch of Jam Bands  last June, you all have a second chance to join up with the Whole Phamily crew in just a few weeks!

We are so thrilled to be a part of Blues for Challah:  The Second Set, a "weekend-long workshop exploring the spiritual and mystical aspects of the Grateful Dead and Bob Dylan," writes Seth Rogovoy on his Rogovoy Report.  Whole Phamily is heading up the programs for children on Friday night and Shabbat morning.

In case you were wondering, my friendly friends, this is a pluralistic event, welcome folks of all persuasions (but a love of the Grateful Dead is sorta the point...). You don't have to be Jewish, but it don't hurt to be, neither. And, in case you were wondering, my frum friend or relative (yep, Heshy, I'm talkin' to you), this is, indeed a shabbaton.  Just different than my 8th grade experience.   I have desired to attend an event at Isabella Freedman and its affiliate Elat Chayyim since the mid '90s, living as a single working woman on Upper West Side.  It is finally, baruch hashem, coming to fruition!  And on the cusp of mine and Stango's 11th wedding anniversary and right after my birthday, no less.  Someone is surely watching over us for the good.

 C'mon Children! Shabbat Fun for Kids

Pipe cleaner creations and a fun food craft are among just the many exciting things we have planned for kids of all ages.  Concealed Light, The Wolfman and the Wolfman's Brother will be there ready to have a whole lot of fun with all the kids.  We'll sing classic tot-shabbat tunes, do puppet shows and read stories.  We will talk about that week's torah portion, Vayishlach, in an interactive way and maybe even make up a skit about it!  Who knows, maybe kids will even get to borrow their very own Pez dispensers as a shabbat treat on Friday night.  Parents, just be chill with the food coloring, ok?  It's 12 tiny pieces of candy!  And if the goats are willing, maybe we'll take a walk over and say 'mehhhhh!  So much more can and will happen.  Anyone under the age of 21 who is shlepped along for this epic shabbaton is a lucky one and for sure should be grateful!

Stango will likely be found during those times in the shul, but off-the-record will be available for any brain-talk-walk therapy and of course discussion of chassidus and Jerry that folks might be interested in.

For more info, read what Seth Rogovoy wrote on his blog regarding the event.
(remember when I reviewed Rogovoy's book on Dylan?)

Or what Josh Fleet wrote in his Huffington Post coverage.

All-inclusive prices, which include farm-to-table food and wine and lodging, begin at $233 for the 2-night event.  EARLY BIRD REGISTRATION DISCOUNT EXTENDED UNTIL TODAY NOVEMBER 9, 2012!

For more info check out Blues for Challah:  Second Set.

Have a good Shabbes, have a good show!

Toss Away Stuff You Don't Need In The End

Yesterday I performed the task that many Jewish moms time immemorial have done once their daughters have gone off to camp:  cleaned out the room.

And I have conflicted feelings about it.
Because I should take the advice of my own mother and sit down with her to organize together.
But I just couldn't wait until August.
I had the time yesterday, so I started seizing the moment.

Let me clarify a few things.  I wrote to my daughter, Concealed Light, who is happily enjoying her 2nd year at camp for the month of July, to inform her that I would be tidying up in her room.   And that was just a reminder.  I told her before she left for camp that I would be cleaning up.   I haven't been able to get in there in recent months even simply to dust, as she insists on leaving her play-school set up with school supplies, dolls, and various other props on the floor, thereby preventing a thorough cleaning job.  I would just be moving things aside and putting like together with like to get rid of all the dust bunnies.

But one thing led to another.
Can I admit here that I was cleaning and organizing in there for 4 hours on Sunday morning?
I got so entrenched that I missed Will Shortz's puzzle on NPR.
Oy!
And I couldn't just tidy up.
I was putting so much like together with like.
I discovered things she couldn't find and could use at camp.
And then came all the scraps, a dead insect, tiny piles of dried up flowers, bits of yarn.
Time to purge some of it.
Time to scrape off the stuck-on glue stains, markers, mounting tape.
And there was so much stuff, my gut wants to convince myself that she won't notice.


Here are some things I found (and left a bunch behind):

• Full box of silly bandz (isn't that fad like 2 years too late?)
• Shredded tissue paper 
• American Girl self-help spiral notebooks and teeny tiny notes
• treasure boxes filled with beads, gems, stones, craftable items
• Pony beads.
• scraps of fabric.
• unopened birthday gifts from last summer
• Mini oragami fortune tellers.
• Baby clothing she took out of storage (for her dolls).

She will notice.
True to my word, though, I didn't touch the dollhouse.

And, there you have my conflict:  The desire to clean up, and the desire to respect her space and retain her trust.  Just when you start assuming that I violated my daughter's privacy, I must tell you that I didn't go through every drawer.   I replaced personal items after dusting the area underneath them.  I am not the nosy mom.  I am not the controlling mom.  I am not the I wanna-be-best-friends-with-my-daughter-cooler-than-my-own-mother-though-I-love-love-love-my-own-mother mom.

Again, the conflict:  I sortof have some of those qualities.

I hope to remind Concealed Light that she still has tons of stuff and I was only trying to help clear some space (why hold onto sealed-shut nail polish bottles?) and she'll continually get new stuff and there is still purging that needs to happen and let's do that together when you get back from camp.

I remind myself that Other Moms do this on a continuing basis.
Concealed Light is lucky that I don't typically ransack her room.
And remember, this wasn't a ransack.
This is a delicate once-over.
A once-over that generated 5 bags of garbage and 3 bags of paper recycling.

I discovered that Concealed Light is somewhat of a hoarder, but I realize that we have only gone through her stuff together once or twice, so I can't blame her for not learning the skills.  It is my job to do this type of thing with her together, and I feel bad that I haven't been able to find the time yet to do this.

Uh oh, The Wolfman's Brother came in to the room in the afternoon and said, "Mama, it looks like we are moving because there is nothing on the floor."

Yes, it is important to retain the important stuff, but to quote the song "Theme From the Bottom" which is the title of this blog post:

Toss away stuff you don't need in the end, but keep what's important and know who's your friend 

Here are some other things I found and/or accomplished:

• That laptop that she said wasn't working?  Cable was simply unplugged from side of laptop.
• 100% cotton nightgown purchased in a fancy boutique store stuck under her dresser drawer, covered in dust bunnies
• Shira Goodman's* school supply box, filled with useless pencil stubs about 2 inches long
• nail clipper she misplaced from last year at camp:  It was buried in her overstuffed LeSportsac cosmetic bag.
• Goo-goned a ton of marker stains of her vintage white formica furniture (translation:  my childhood handmedown) and mounting tape my husband thought would be helpful to use to mount her reading lamp
• shook out the Pottery Barn braided oval rug.  Discovered a lot of dirt stains.
• sharpened all of her colored pencils
• threw away old markers
• gathered all of her temporary tatoos and Indian "bindi" facial stickers, putting them in a care package to her at camp with instructions to share with her friends at camp.

*name changed to protect privacy

I realize a difference between me and Concealed Light is that she is way more creative than I ever was, and certainly more intelligent than me.  My sister, Reba, also expressed a creative streak from a young age, and her room, too, was often in disarray.  My own childhood room was relatively tidy and I regularly went through my stuff.  I also didn't have as much stuff as C.L.  There were not Dollar Stores,  Five Below or Claire's where we could get fun stuff for cheap.  I treasured my Hello Kitty items, but there was no purchasing knock-offs in Chinatown, so I only had a few very prized Sanrio products.  Concealed Light, however, has access to so much more stuff.  She has a small library compared to her friends, but way more books than I ever owned:  My mom was a staunch library patron.  My sister was always making projects, as is Concealed Light, but I wasn't as much of the creative type.  I treasured my rug hook set that I worked on for years, leaving it always safely at the top of my closet in its plastic Woolworth shoebox.  I had only one or two sketch pads, and prized my smelly markers and Marvy markers that I received from my Manhattan cousins who lived in Lincoln Towers for years.  Concealed Light is constantly making her own books, writing stories, creating doll clothes:  a real independent, original, creative spirit.   

I hope one day if she ever reads this blog post she will say, "Mama, I could have expressed those same thoughts in a very concise manner where your blog readers didn't actually tune out after the 2nd paragraph."  Let this entry serve as a reminder that we can all learn so much from our children.  I know she will be a great writer one day.  She already is great at expressing herself through the written word at the young age of 8.  Her stories are funny, witty, and to the point.  Me?  I always said that I liked doing the research and could improve upon my writing skills.  I am more of the ideas person.  I have a lot of ideas.

With that I leave you the title of this blog entry. 

Click through to 2:45 for the quotation.

And if you are so inclined to view the video in its 7 minute entirety, fully check out this incredible light show.  I was at the Atlantic City show the day after (this was a 3 day Phish festival in June).  Chris Kuroda, the band's 5th honorary member and talented light engineer, as they say in Phish parlance, "killed it."

Mary Jane, A Mysterious Friend of Mine...An Original Poem

Written by my eldest child, Concealed Light

**********

Mary Jane is a friend of mine,

she is really friendly and very nice,

but she is quite weird and mysterious,

and wait until you hear this:

she can turn a wrench into a hen,

a hamster-feed pellet into some men.

And don't ask me how Mary Jane does this,

because as I told you,

she is mysterious.

************

picture of the author, Concealed Light

As the mother, naturally I kvell and admit that I am biased:  everything my children do is great.  But trying to remove myself from the parental role, I gotta admit this is pretty good.  Wacky and fun, Concealed Light has written a great poem.  Way better than I ever did in 3rd grade.  It was published in her school's first-ever literary publication, and while the town library judges made a grave error by not awarding her a prize for its entry in this year's poetry contest, there is more great stuff where that came from.   She says she wants to be a writer.  Oh, how I would love to send her to a writing workshop.  One day maybe that will happen.  Until then, I encourage her to keep on reading and writing.

Once In A While You Shown The Light

In the strangest places if you look at it right.  I have a touch of the blues, but when I heard Sublime's "Scarlet Begonias" this morning, my mood was lifted.  I wasn't a 90s garage band fan, but when Jerry's energy comes through with this tune how can things be bad?



I'm gonna be happy with the rings on my fingers and maybe I'll put some bells on my shoes, at least figuratively.  But not the rings.  They are real.  Love rocks are a girl's best friend, didn't you know?  And I will be happy to light Shabbat candles tonight and see the light in a very cozy place:  my home.  With my very own daughter Concealed Light.

Don't Worry Be Happy

Today is the Rosh Hodesh (New Moon) and the start of the Jewish month of Adar.  Purim is around the corner, which means it's time to get happy!  Easier said than done.  I plan to do that with getting myself to the Nars counter at Saks this morning where they have a special event, makeup artists, blah blah blah.

My friend and teacher Sara Esther Crispe has some good ideas, too.  Probably better ideas than mine.   Sara Esther is an wonderful speaker and very easy to listen to (for someone like me, at least).  She offers up a great lecture on finding the good and finding the joy.

I can't embed the video, but click here, it is worth it.

In the meantime, I will listen to the classic Bobby McFerrin tune.

Boy, I forgot how much I love Bill Irwin and Robin Williams in that video.

Do little kids realize that Mr. Noodle is a comic genius?

Shtuff Ragers Say...Molly is My Middle Name (Ain't That the Truth)!

Already old hat, the genre of "Sh!t (fill in the name of some ethnic-social group) Say" has certainly been done.

I post "Shtuff Ragers Say" with full disclosure/warning that it is definitely filled with a lot of shtuss and chazarai (Yiddish words for, basically, garbage)





I recently posted my own $.02 about the use of the word rage, and now along comes this YouTube.  As I mentioned there, I like it when rage is used in a positive way.

Just a few seconds into watching that brings me to one of the things I like least about the music scene and popular culture in general:

The Excessive Use of Foul Language.

I really didn't want to go there on this blog, as I try to focus on the positive, but it is there.

In my adult life, I have made the conscious effort to limit the use of cursing.
It is just plain ugly and only brings out negativity.
A little bit, ok, yeah. A lot?  Nah.  No, nope no siree.
Why do they go there so frequently?  Find the light, folks!

I had the opportunity a few years ago to be on the set of the film Going the Distance, starring Drew Barrymore and Christina Applegate.  What a thrill to be among the cast and crew.  And yet, when I saw the film on screen, I was disappointed to hear so much cursing.  It didn't really help the movie, in my opinion.

Nanette Burstein, you were the director.  I think you should have toned it down.  Justin Long just didn't do much for himself with his excessive cursing.  My own humble opinion.

But, thanks for letting us borrow your chair.  It was SUCH a thrill being on this set two summers ago.

Fast forward about 20 years, and these boys and girls in the Ragers video will be talking about, instead of Pokeballs and Hello Kittys, the Louis Vuittons.

The Almond Tree is Blooming

The Jewish birthday of the trees is nearly here!

Here are Stango and Concealed Light from a few weeks ago.

Not Your Mama's Uncle

This offered great comic relief this morning to the Wolfman and Concealed Light.


 


If only Uncle Moishy still sported those glasses which have now become hipster, he could pretty much fit in at a Williamsburg bar.

For the sake of the Jews out there who love his work, I actually contacted his management company, Suki and Ding, a few years ago to tell them it would be simply great if he had a YouTube channel.   Think of all of those yeshiva kids in Brooklyn (i.e. my cousins) who are allowed to access certain things on the Internet but not others?  Uncle Moishy is signed, sealed, delivered, and most of all approved, and it would be a boon to his fame and notoriety!

You think they take my advice?

Bindi: Every Women's Like, or Dirt on Your Face?

I thank my friend Abby for introducing me to bindi, which are Indian facial stick-on gems.  Abby's sister appears in this wedding video I blogged about recently.  We used to live across the street from Abby, and I  sometimes saw her daughter wearing bindi.   They are not Indian, but does that matter?  Saraswathi Vedam, the midwife for my first two children, is Indian and she is quite wise.  Bindi are fun and girls love them.  What a beautiful way to liven up one's female self.  I respect its Indian and Bangladeshi spiritual roots, but since I am Jewish I choose to not place bindi in the traditional between-the-eyebrow location.

Indian bindi can be found at your local Indian clothing store

I bought this package when I was last in Manhattan.  I went to 28th and Lexington, sometimes referred to as Curry Hill, and found hundreds of different styles.  You can get bindi on Ebay, naturally.  I wore bindi later that night, and my new friend, Cute Indian Girl, complimented me.  Yay.

My brother, The Goalie, saw my daughter, Concealed Light, wearing bindi this past weekend for her Aunt Reba's birthday celebration.  The Goalie said, "Um, I think you've got some dirt on your cheek."  Thanks a lot, Uncle Goalie.  We all laughed about it.

Don't think my mom is going to like this ridiculous photo of me. 

I did not go out with the faux nose pierce.
I am laughing terribly at that photo.

And if you want to see Saras, who I hold in the highest regard when it comes to childbirth, look no further!

Mommies Are People, But Am I A Grownup?

On our drive this weekend to visit my parents and to celebrate my sister's birthday, my children and I listened to the "Free to Be You and Me" soundtrack.   The close-quarters of being in the minivan enabled me to ponder this song, and I started thinking about how it has poignantly come full-circle.

there is a YouTube video  here, so if you get this in an email link you might need to click through to the wholephamily.com website itself to see this video link

Like so many children of my generation, I grew up listening to this record.
I picked it up again in college and then started thinking of its message that all people can be whomever they choose to be.  I doubt my mom ever read Ms. Magazine cover-to-cover like I did in 2004 while nursing Conealed Light in New Haven (I have been told I need to clarify that Ms. is pronounced mizz, and it was part of the foundation that backed this record), but she knew the good stuff and Free To Be You and Me was it in the 70s.

When I was little, I was the girl listener, envisioning all of the mommies and daddies and all the things they can do.  And now I am the mama.  And while I haven't become a professional baker, doctor, or funny joke-teller, I have done a lot of things so far.

This song sends the message that parents can and should shoot for the moon.  And that college isn't necessary to get there.  I have told Stango that our children can become skilled tradespeople.  He doesn't see it my way.  Despite that I am the first woman in my immediate family to obtain a college degree, I wonder if it is necessary.  Can't Concealed Light become a pastry chef if she so desires?  Can't The Wolfman apprentice as an electrician?  Better yet, he can become the pastry chef and she can become the electrician.  Two years ago,  my former HBO colleague James Altucher made a compelling argument for this in "Don't Send Your Kids to College."  One of the reactions to Altucher's argument was that unless you are a superstar in your field like Bill Gates or Madonna, a college degree is still necessary.

As for me, I am a mama.  With a lot of interests (read any one of my blog entries and you will get an idea). While it is still hard for me to swallow the reality pill that makes me a grownup and not a little girl riding her banana seat bike in 1979, Marlo Thomas' message for children and adults alike is fresh and current in 2012.  And because of that, a tear of joy rolls down my cheek.


   

Baby, Let me Follow You Down in the Green Pastures of Harvard University

Read the 4th ad down from the most recent issue of Harvard Magazine.

Dear Livinginthepast 1990:

I hope you find a shidduch for your daughter.

From,
Loony

Dear Reader,

Listen to the Bob Dylan album on which "Baby Let me Follow You Down" appears, including its preface:

"I first heard this from Ric von Schnidt.  He lives in Cambridge.
Ric is a blues guitarplayer.  I met him one day on
the green pastures of the Harvard University."

Those Green pastures now have people placing ads in the Crimson Classifieds for shidduchim.

And now, a Widespread Panic cover of this song.









From,
Loony