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Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Rachel Dratch: Too Jewish For the Prairie

Check out this interview with Rachel Dratch and Amy Poehler based on Rachel's new autobiography.  So glad I caught her in the late 90s at Upright Citizen's Brigade.

Check out this interview from a few years ago.   Note:  if I could have uploaded her famous Debbie Downer episode where the whole crew is at Disney and is simply laughing away, I would have.  I guess folks want to protect that Intellectual Property.  Is that you, Lorne?  Cuz Rob Reiner has done the same thing when it comes to YouTube videos of "This is Spinal Tap", and it really does a disservice to the bourgeois of the world!




Of course, I like her because she shares the same first name as me.
And spells it the same.

And has the same last name as one of my favorite Judaic studies teachers as a child, Rabbi Mark Dratch.  I learned Baba Metziah using Cabbage Patch Kids as the examples.

We Love You, Iran & Israel & More Rainbows On Earth

I like this...




The world needs more rainbows...


Orthodox and Single? Miami Plastic Surgeon Will Work Pro Bono!

This one spread like wildfire this week.  As if frum Jews have the time to think about this a week before Passover.

In response to Yitta Halberstam's article that single girls get plastic surgery to help land a husband, Dr. Michael Salzhauer has offered it for free to them in Miami.  One caveat:  you have to come recommended through your matchmaker or Rabbi.

Sounds pretty bezerk to me.  Gila Manolson offers her opinion, more eloquently written than mine, here.

Maybe instead of undergoing surgery, they could learn fashion tips from the Hot Chani's of the world (it goes without saying that a subscription to W and V are helpful if you can get past the rampant untznius images...but a personal stylist can't hurt, either).  A lot of people take offense to that term coined by Heshy Fried, but I think it's pretty funny.  Doubt that Gila would like it.  But I like Gila.  She was a teacher of mine a long time ago, and I don't mean to offend.

Personally, I could use some fashion advice.

Even though I am out of the shidduch market, I still like to look good.  And tie-dyes don't always fly.




Now, get back to cleaning!

From one queen (the Jewish woman, referenced above), to another (the witty parody of Freddy Mercury's tune, below)


Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Jerusalem City of Gold: It Is For the Best

"Just nod if you can hear me"  -Pink Floyd

Click to 23:51 on the below video or even this link   for a 1994 Phish performance of Yerushalayim Shel Zahav.  Phish mavens really ate up that one in the 90s whenever they played this old school Israeli song written by Naomi Shemer.  Those days are over, but we can always listen and remember.  And think towards what could be in the future.




Thank you to Phish.net for debuting this video this week.  Quite an intricate jam, though I don't expect most of you to listen to the whole thing.

As far as I know, Phish has never played a show in Israel.  I think they should.

This child might be grown, but the dream is never gone.




"If you will it, it is no dream."  -Theodor Herzl

I try to maintain optimism, but if a show in Israel never happens, I will keep in mind the following:

"When a person knows that everything that happens to him is for the best, this is a taste of the world to come."  -R' Nachman of Breslov

Monday, March 26, 2012

Love Rocks Are A Girl's Best Friend

Spring is in the air, and you know what that means.  Weddings and engagements.  Browsing for rings in Tiffany, a la Holly Golightly, is usually in order.  But savvy consumers go straight to 47th street for the purchase.  In my world, no matter the size of the stone you are looking for, you go to someone via referral through friends or family.  Usually that someone is a man.  Miss Marmelstein, why pay retail when I Can Get It For You Wholesale?  Unfortunately, speaking from personal experience, the boys-club vibe that thrives among the diamond dealers isn't always welcoming to women.

Enter Limor Senker of Love Rocks New York.

Let me disclose that Limor is a family friend.  Since I know her personally, I know that her professional manner is genuine.  Limor's Love Rocks is a line of fine contemporary jewelry that has received great press - from People to WWD to Glamour.  She uses ethically-sourced pave diamonds and embeds them in 14K gold and platinum to make earrings, bracelets, and more.

If diamonds are a girl's best friend, wouldn't you want your friend to design your jewelry?




Limor has vast experience in the diamond business.  She also custom-designs diamond jewelry:  no more dark-paneled offices with middle-aged men who think they know better than the little miss.  Limor's understanding of style and design, coupled with her personal demeanor make you feel like you're chatting with a friend who also happens to be a diamond jewelry designer.

Recently, Limor and I worked together to customize an anniversary band.  I couldn't be happier with my ring.  She was so accessible during the whole process.  It was lots of fun, too!  Limor uses computer technology to create a rendering of the piece, so nothing is created without full satisfaction or left up to the imagination.  Before she makes the jewelry, you see exactly what it will look like.  How great is that!

Not a New Yorker?  No need to worry.  She will talk with you over the phone, email, Skype, gchat or Facebook.  All packages she sends are fully insured.  Best of all, she works with all budgets.  Working with Limor is such a pleasure, and I urge you to give her a call if you're in the market.  If it's your fiance who is taking care of things, tell him you will be happy that he called Limor.

Love Rocks NY
646.415.8770
info@loverocksny.com

And to think, I had no cultural context for "Material Girl" when it came out in 1985.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Hot Dogs and Led Zeppelin

My first grader, aka The Wolfman's Brother, came home last week talking about how the boys in class have a special nickname for each other, but that it's private and he couldn't tell me more.  I managed to listen carefully enough to learn that boys are called hot dogs and girls are called hamburgers.  When asked the reasoning behind these nicknames, in all the sweet innocence he is, The Wolfman's Brother just said, "I don't know." Awww.

Also last week, my brother, Uncle Goalie, recommended Led Zeppelin's "Hot Dog" from In Through the Out Door as a good idea for spin class.  The Goalie is right...Kashmir might not have enough BPMs.  Yes, I know what BPMs are*.  Do you?

Now that spring is here, it's almost summer, which means hot dog season.






Just don't eat too many.
Nitrates and nitrites are no good for any of us.
Even if it says all natural on the package, just remember they are fooling you.

*of course I didn't until it was pointed out to me!  Now that I do, naturally I feel pretty ignorant since I claim to like music.

Stevie Wonder on My Mind Today...I Wonder Why?

The only recording I had from Stevie Wonder was a 45 record of "Ebony and Ivory," from my cousin's bat mitzvah.  It was just eh.  If only I heard his 1975 funk song "Boogie On Reggae Woman," I might have seen more of this Rock-n-Roll Hall of famer's greatness earlier on in the game.





I do sometimes harbor suspicions for reasons unbeknownst to me, and all I have to say at this time is that I hope that Stevie is doing ok.

Moms Need Nationwide Emergency Child Care Service

Now that you can find Bubbie's Pickles on every Whole Foods refrigerator shelf and eat at Bubbys* comfort-food restaurants in either Tribeca or Dumbo, the word bubby appears fit for mass consumption.  In case you missed the memo, a bubby or bubbie is a Jewish grandmother.  Today's bubby is not limited to the black orthopaedic shoe-wearing stereotype (but if she wore them, you can bet her hip would feel pretty good).  In addition to making kraut and smoking meat, she can be found at the yoga studio, as a docent at the art museum, or working the counter at your local hardware store.  She doesn't even have to be Jewish, and she doesn't have to be.   She might have jumped onto the eco-friendly bandwagon.  Meet Ruth Feldman,  the Green Bubbie, for more on that.

Who of us saw the 1982 film The Electric Grandmother?






What happens when us moms get sick?  Totally out of commission?  Whether you work full time, part time, or fully stay home with your kids, you will need to call someone.  Most of the time, you manage.  But, has this stomach flu thing hit your house yet?  It is really going around, and I hope for you that you don't get it.  You will be wholly debilitated and need help.

If you are lucky enough to live close to family, or really good friends, you call someone.  Ideally it is your own mother who will come to help out.  Not all of us are fortunate to have that option.  Not all of us have Maureen Stapleton in the form of the above-mentioned Electric Grandmother.  And if your friends have children of their own, they aren't going to be in the house at 7:45am to help the littles with getting out the door in the morning.

The solution?

We need a National Bubbie Service!  One where desparate moms can call in the troops at any time of day to take over.  There isn't too much out there along these lines:


  • New York City has a service On Call Sitters, but we don't know if they are reliable.  Bubby is reliable, doesn't need a background check, and will bring over chicken soup. 
People, welcome to the '90s (this is my cultural reference to the 90s remake of Father of the Bride which is to say get with the times)!  It is 2012 and there isn't much out there.



The answer for now is to stay healthy.
Wash your hands with warm water and soap.

And at least take a look at this clip where Martin Short was Academy-award worthy:

(Go to 3:40 for a reminder of where "welcome to the 90s" comes from):










*albeit fully treif (not Kosher)

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Kony 2012. Tikkun Olam at the Core.

Mark your calendar for 4/20.  No, not for that.  For something actually meaningful that will help change the lives of millions of people.  And the world.

Until I saw this video, I didn't know who Joseph Kony was.
Now I do, and I urge you to watch along with the 80 million others who have viewed it this past week.





Even Stango, who said he didn't have 27 minutes to watch it, did get captivated for 12 minutes.
That says a lot.

Jason Russell's film is so well-made...he got creative and got the message across that the world's top war criminal Joseph Kony needs to be captured by the United States military this year.


It's called "Cover the Night," and it's a poster campaign on April 20, 2012.
Reminds me of "Take Back the Night," but a different issue and one that is so timely there is no time to waste.

Unfortunately it's on Shabbes, but we're still gonna do our part now.


Spread the word.

Friday, March 16, 2012

Nobody Puts This Baby in Any Corner, Not Even Usher!

Why is it that when I want to use the iconic 1987 film "Dirty Dancing" as a point of illustration, all the good videos have disabled embedding, which means that I can not easily include the video as a linkable image here?





 I fully believe in protecting Intellectual Property, but it only works against Lions Gate Films, the distributor of "Dirty Dancing."

 Oh well, that's not the point of this post...

 Here are some links to some clips of the great movie.

 Nobody puts baby in a corner:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=28A9Jgo92GQ

 The final dance scene:
 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WpmILPAcRQo


My point is, again thanks to trusty spin class that keeps me on my toes with new music, I get to hear a most atrocious tune entitled "Dirty Dancer" by Enrique Iglesias and Usher.  The only good thing about hearing this song that hit all sorts of charts in 2010 and 2011 is that it reminded me of the aforementioned 80s movie, produced on a skeleton budget and yet a blockbuster nonetheless.

Honestly?  Am I *that* old fashioned that I think this is awful and an embarrassment to the way popular culture has journeyed?  I was embarrassed when I saw the original "Dirty Dancing" with my mom in the movie theater, and obviously that level of bumping and grinding was peanuts compared to the near-porn that appears in the video below.  I present this video again only for pure illustration purposes (as in my previous post) and do not recommend watching it if you want to stay positive. I watched just a few seconds of the pole dancers to know that I'd had enough, but I guess it gives me pause to realize that in a couple of years when my children have free reign of their computer time they will be able to watch everything and anything.

Smartening up your children before they get to this narrishkeit and educating them as to what is good and what is not good to view is the key.




Check out Jennifer Grey's father, Joel.  Now, that's entertainment!